You
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
We begin with a twist:Beck gets the voice over!
Its the vocal equivalent of sexy bedhead.
The Captain, we learn, paid for the bed and Becks phone bill.
IknewBeck couldnt pay for that bed herself!
Which makes this both more and less gross than initially insinuated.
Would you refer to your arrangement as whoring?
Would your aesthetic be Victorias Secret pirate wench with Pinterest hair?
For at this juncture, Joe is spying on Becks texts and has no idea who the Captain is.
Beck is distracted because everyone in her workshop called her writing treacly, which is just perfect.
Im just saying, stop killing puppies.
Actually, I love that advice.
(Also, shes a better friend than I realized if shes out here reading Becks treacly rough drafts.
In my notes I wrote:Did Joe BRING Becks phone to her apartment?!
Anyway: The Captain is Becks dad.
Beck has been telling everybody her dad overdosed and died.
And then: Joe gets made at Dickens Fest!
He smooth talks his way out of this by saying its something he does annually as a bookseller.
Thats pretty clever, I must say.
I will also give credit to Joe who is a psycho and a stalker and a murderer!
#neverforget for being self-effacing and quite charming about the other night.
Beck explains her lie and Joe forgives and everybody goes to dinner inGreat Expectationscosplay.
(All of that feels extremely fact-checkable, by the way the Captain is on Facebook!
That night, Beck cannot sleep.
But WHERE ISOZMA OF OZ?
Inquiring Peaches want to know!
Even wealth cannot protect you from bedbugs.
NOTHING CAN PROTECT YOU.
(you might find that nightmare fodder here.)
Joe, somehow, slipped the book back on Peachs shelf without anybody finding out.
Do we think Joe picked up a bedbug on the way out?
Thats what you get for breaking and entering.
