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To the ABC conclave we go!
Brush up on your smoke signals!
(Their appeal might bepetering, if you will.)
Let the odds be in their favor.
(Reminder, ladies: Hes a senior corporate banker from Buffalo who kissesreal nice.)
(Unlike someothermen who rhyme with Schmolton.)
His goofy smile makes us swoon.
Hes never even done anything wrong in the conventional sense!
Wills (Odds: 21 to 1)
Sup baby?
Give us a break!)
We welcome ABC to surprise us by casting its very first black man as Bachelor, though.
You couldnt ask for a better guy to make history with.
Becca wouldve been that woman, adding to theawww-ness.)
Where did it all start going south?
(We should note that Colton went toParadiseand ABC promos heavily advertise the duo canoodling.)
Nobody wants aBachelorwho lives for the drama.
With a smile, no less!
Even Jordan couldnt help but enjoy the moment.
So, off toParadisehe goes instead.
(Seriously, can you imagine going out for a boozy brunch with Jordan?
Table for two and a bottomless mimosa pitcher, kindly.)
Hell, were bold enough to say it fueled Beccas seasonuntil his elimination.
Where was theprofessionalitywhen he needed it most?!
(It was bad.)
(Did we mention Grocery Store Joe is a nice Chicago boy?)
Also, he appeared onParadiseand implied hes currently in a relationship with someone.
Were best to revisit his Instagram a few times a month and leave it at that.
