Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
TheHarry Potterstar is a human subtweet machine, the prime minister of petty!
Out of the mouths of 80-somethings comes … whatever they freaking want!
So: are you petty like Smith or generous like Plowright?
Find out which dame you identify with most, below.
Dame Judi DenchAre you that bitch?
Do you dress in rich, loose bohemian fabrics and adorn yourselves with bangles and bracelets and necklaces?
Are you quick on the defense?
Do people generally regard you as a queen?
You are Dame Judi Dench, who is indeedthatbitch.
Shes arguably had the most successful Hollywood career and was the first of the dames to be damed.
Joan PlowrightDo you just happen to be candidly and preciously … nice?
Are you the loyal friend, the ally always in someones corner?
The key in of friend to just live in a dreamy cottage?
Are you warm and expressive, with a winning sense of humor?
Are you nonetheless insanely talented and, like, they cantnotinvite you?
Are you the first to suggest champagne?
You are Dame Joan Plowright!
Shakespeare is poetry, and it does have a rhythm, she says.
Dame Eileen AtkinsAre you the friend who insists on taking photos that highlight your good angles?
Are you the girl who minds her own business, but can get hot when pressed?
Are you usually the one to keep things in level-headed perspective, but who doesnt mind a little confrontation?
Are you fine with flying under the radar to a point?
Is fear your fuel?
Are you a perfectionist?
Have you pulled off a perm?
And are you not that bothered by the opinions of others?
Greetings, Dame Eileen Atkins.
Who cares about awards and honors and distinction when you know your worth!
Dame Maggie SmithDo you like to gossip?
Are you a little bit annoyed that more people dont recognize your winning personality and your striking good looks?
Have you not watchedDownton Abbey?
(They gave me a box set.
I shall have to hasten otherwise I wont last long enough to see the wretched thing!)
Do you, somehow and for no specific reason, look generally unconvinced by anything anyone says?
Do you have the ability to speak in a lower register of pure condescension?
Welcome: we are Maggie Smiths.
(Like a true petty queen, she gets bashful when Plowright brings it up.)
As for her own little franchise,Harry Potter?
Alan Rickman and I just ran out of reaction shots.
