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Now, it is no longer a chance but a definite future.
Unfortunately for the Guidices, Trump turned her down.
Well, the intrepid reporters here at Vulture have obtained a (completely fake) copy of that letter.
We present it for you below.
The Donald,
Isnt it weird that we start letters saying deer?
Like youre not a deer.
Shouldnt we say Deer Person?
),Im writing today for my husband Joe Giudice who has been convicted of a crime.
I dont know what is wrong with this judge.
We didnt do nothin.
I mean, the bank has money, right?
And the bank should give us money, right?
We just got the bank to give us money.
Joe is going to go to prison and I would like you to write a character letter for him.
Everyone admires you so much and you have a very nice way of treating people, especially women.
I thought this might help to get the judge to stop being so mean to Joe.
My husband has all the ingredientses of being a good man.
Wait, thats five.
Well, theres four of them and Joe is just the greatest dad and best husband.
He bought us this giant house made only out of onyx and other stones.
He did it because I wanted it.
He always says, Happy wife, happy life.
He made that up!
I told him he should put that on T-shirts and aprons and bottled pre-mixed cocktails like Fabulini.
He just doesnt understand the rules here in America.
Hes just an immigrant here trying to make the most of an American job.
You support immigrants, right Mr. You should because when Italy sent Joe, they sent you the most bestest.
Sincerelee,
Teresa Giudice, the Skinny Italian
