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Javier Bardem doesnt know who the Kardashians are, just ask him.
Apparently in Spain, the Kardashians are not famous.
Heres the thing though you cant not know who the Kardashians are.
I dont care how from Spain you are.
You have toworkat not knowing who the Kardashians are.
The amount of effort it would take to willfully ignore the Kardashians would be better spent doing anything else.
Learning how to juggle, perhaps.
But whats even more galling is that Bardems lack of knowledge demonstrated some cursory knowledge.
Have they invented any vaccines that I should know of?
Bardem knew enough about the Kardashians to know that vaccine inventor was an improbable source of fame for them.
This was a long, roundabout way into the thesis of this story: Talk-show guests, try harder.
I am a very busy woman and the world is on fire.
If you want me to find you charming, you are going to have to work for it.
Willful ignorance of the Kardashians stopped being cute right around the divorce from Kris Humphries.
Kim hasnt invented a vaccine, but she didget someone freed from prison.
The world is so dumb that even smart people have to know dumb shit.
Get with the times, Javier Bardem.
I found myself constantly disappointed with the mechanisms of charm that talk-show guests employed this week.
I am going to need you to at leasttryto entertain me when youre on a talk show.
Contempt for the audience is a sign that you cant be trusted, that you already dont value me.
The iconography of (especially male) celebrity always traces back to the Rat Pack.
Justin Timberlake did it, the Oceans guys too.
Dean Martin gave no fucks.
Frank Sinatra gave so many fucks, but pretended not to give any.
The greatest tragedy of them all.
Javier Bardem and Peter Dinklage were Franks this week.
They pretended not to care, but it was boring.
True chill is compelling, but it needs accessories.
Dean Martin always worked best in contrast to people working harder than he did.
Jerry Lewis and Frank Sinatra were perfect foils to Dean Martins drunken apathy because they were anxiously seeking acceptance.
Watch this clip of Dean and Frank together on Deans show.
Deans belief that the audience was on his side was balanced by his partners putting in the effort.
Franks performative nature was balanced by Deans confidence.
Dean flubs words, Frank adds extra words.
Now watch Ice-T and Mariska Hargitays joint interview by Seth Meyers.
You need hot and cold, sweet and savory.
So if youre a lone guest, you gotta bring both flavors.
Give me some effort, give me some confidence.
Give me Tiffany Haddish.
