Vanderpump Rules
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Why do fools fall in love?
But what fools they are, because most of this episode revolves around their fairy-themed engagement party.
Then there is DJ James Kennedy and his girlfriend Raquel, a stalled Barbie Ferrari.
Its as if there is only one restaurant in the Greater Los Angeles area.
But the dumbest the absolute dumbest of all the couples has to be Scheana and Adam.
Scheana says, Is Mercury in retrograde, because Adam wont text me back?
Ugh, I hate people who blame things on Mercury being in retrograde.
Its so … retrograde.
Its not like theyre fuckingJoan Quigley.
Then Scheana says, I just spent a weekend with a male model.
Whats the big deal?
Oh, so Mercury isnt in retrograde.
When Adam pulls Scheana aside to chat, things really get heated.
right in front of Brittanys MeMaws salad.
That leads us into one of the most brilliantly comical exchanges ever on the history of this program.
Do you love me?
Answer the question, Scheana asks.
No, Adam responds.
I dont love you.
Oh, girl, I felt that pain about 6,000 miles and eight time zones away.
(I am writing this from a Buddhist monastery in Mongolia.)
But if I didnt, you wouldnt have spoken up.
The only people who really look good at the engagement party arent even a couple: Ariana and Lisa.
Beau has accepted her for the crazy basic that she is, and she has flourished because of it.
The door opened up and pushed a large gray plastic trash can out of the way.
I thought you said you locked it!
Beau looked down and saw Adam on the floor of the john in a Tom Sandwich.
Beau didnt know what to do.
Beau, he said.
Man, its not what it looks like.
Okay, it is what it looks like.
But sometimes this is what we need.
You know how girls can be.
You know howourgirls can be.
Its not all sunshine and unicorns and sometimes, you just need to be with your guys.
You just need something easy.
Something you dont have to think about.
Everyone straightened up a little bit, proud but uncertain of where this was going.
Beau looked Schwartz in his melty brown eyes and took a moment to speak.
Finally he said, You got room for one more?
Schwartz leaned in and kissed him on the mouth.
