UnREAL
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The question here isnt whoEverlastingsuitor Serena picked.
(You couldve guessed that from the start.)
Weve been here, all season, wondering aboutUnREALitself: Could the showredeem itself from its sophomore slump?
And now that weve reached the double-sized whammy of a third season finale … well, did it?
Its my job to answer that question, but to be perfectly honest with you, I dont know.
Or, at least, the person we thought they each wanted to be.
Quinn and Rachel seem to each get what they wanted.
They both seem happy.
To be fair, this show never quite told us anyones truth.
I still dont quite understand Rachel Goldberg, and I dont think I ever will.
Her actions never quite add up to anything she says toanyone, let alone her nearest and dearest.
But were led to be that this gift is the first selfless act of friendship between the two.
I have done everything I can to keep you to myself, Quinn says.
You are a dark twisted wreck, and Im gonna miss every bit of it.
But as this is a recap, lets recap the rest of what went down.
Guess who turns out to be not such a good guy?Thats right: Dr. Simon!
He tells Rachel she uses sex to run away from intimacy.
No, duh.Quinn discovers the cameras, figures out immediately that hes the peeping Tom, and tells Rachel.
Again, not the worst take, but doesnt change the fact that hes a creep.
No thanks and good-bye, Dr. Simon.
Can we get Rachel a female shrink next time?
Guess who turns out to be a smart guy?Shockingly, Jeremy.
The end of the first episode has him sobbing to Rachel.
The two murders he did (yes, on her behalf) still haunt him, its true.
But do these two damaged souls belong together?
What if they were away from the cursed halls ofEverlasting?
Could they make it work then?
No, says Jeremy.
Youre a stain that I have to live with for the rest of my life.
Id rather be alone forever than be with you.
And I think youre gonna be alone forever, too.
Hey, at least you know better than to keep chasing after her.
Jeremy leavesEverlasting, supposedly to never return.
Thats right, if Rachel cant be happy (see: Jeremy), then no one can.
Even Serena, who is somehow successfully convinced to turn down both Jasper and Owen.
(Alas, she isntreallymaking everyone miserable.
Because of that stunt, Chet admits on live TV that hes in love with Quinn.
More on that in a few.)
You dont hate it here.
You were smiling, I saw you …
This is exactly where you belong.
Turns out Racheldidsuccessfully produce her into misery.
Meanwhile, Quinn is still waging war with Gary.
to write a tell-all piece about Quinn in exchange for a big job.
She even somehow deletes Garys damning emails off Quinns computer.
(Why Quinn didnt make backups before blackmailing Gary, well never know.
You gotta print those things out, girl!)
It just goes to remind you, inUnREAL, its female solidarity above all else.
Even Madison gets to finally pitch her pilot.
The new head of the online grid.
So Quinn keeps her job and gets her man.
But these two belong together and always have.
One of them just had to say it.
Now they can turn that house they designed back into a home for two.
I hope they adopt!
Can Rachel stay away fromEverlastingfor good?
She doesnt seem to think she fits anywhere else, she explains to Quinn.
But Jeremy is long gone.
And her parents, too.
The question is, willUnREALlet its heroine live in peace?
With a fourth season on the horizon, probably not.
