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It appeared in reality as if summoned from dreams.
And I was there.
Obviously, its been very exciting, Tom Sandoval told me, regarding the opening of Tom Tom.
Believe me, I know.
And its been a lot of work, too, he added.
Believe me, I bet!
I visited Tom Tom for a menu-tasting event on Monday night.
They, along with their goat-cheese balls and their Pump-tinis, exist wholly in reality.
We are lucky for this gift.
Tom Toms interior does not disappoint.
Its a weird, beautiful, very funny space.
(This is save for one area, however, which is the multi-person bathroom.
It will, I imagine, set a nonideal mood for those who want toeat pasta.)
Lisas daughter Pandora and her husband were already there, visibly working.
He said he and Schwartz would find me after he had a drink and a smoke.
It was very sweet.
Our servers name was JoJo, which I hope is a theme with the servers.
Another Tom Tom guest insisted that I try this snack, I assume as a prank.
like do not order the crispy fried olives.
Instead, order the Bubbapump Shrimp Jicama Tacos or the Citrus Sesame Shishitos.
Each of these dishes carries my stamp of approval.
(I only almost vomited.)
I would never in my life think to request a damp napkin from a waiter.
(The store offered no such service.)
Im honored and frightened to have been in the presence of their bold requests.
Also, while were still on the cocktails, the stemware was nice.
(Its not an unclever addition to Lisas quote, you have to admit.)
I asked them what theyd been doing in the lead-up to Tom Tom.
And this whole motorcycle/sidecar thing was like a vision I had last year.
I had no knowledge of this, Schwartz said, regarding the motorcycle-and-sidecar vision.
He surprised me yesterday and picked me up.
He arranged the white matching suits, of course, and the helmets.
Custom helmets that say T. Schwa and T. Sandy.
And a custom paint job he spares no expense.
Thats awesome; thats really high praise.
Thats a great compliment, said Sandoval.
Its a break from reality.
I want people to be able to come here and just forget about their problems, said Schwartz.
That is, arguably, one way to describe what happened to the visitors ofJurassic Park.
The past few months have been the ultimate learning experience, Schwartz said.
Weve been like sponges, just absorbing everything.
They dont let many people in their circle.
When Lisa Vanderpump refers to you casually in conversation as her business partner, its like whoa!
No, versus like Pinkys or, you know, something like that.
It just has a nice ring to it.
Shout-out to Tom Tom Club one of my favorite bands.
I wanted to name a cocktail after that and we havent yet, but we will.
I asked, in the months since, has Lisa cashed the checks?
Not yet, but
That moneys as good as gone, said Schwartz.
Technically, we set up separate business accounts for that, and, yes, technically its not cashed.
Emotionally that money is gone.
Sure, yes, yes.
I added that there was also the sweat equity to be considered.
I know, Schwartz said, shaking his head.
We said sweat equity a lot last season.
We should have a shot called Sweat Equity.
Speaking of shots, Can we take you to the shot bar and have a shot?
We went to the shot bar where Schwartz asked, Can we take a picture?
We took a shot something guava related and Sandoval AirDropped methe video.
Had he heard about this?
Does he even still talk to that guy?
Listen, I dont know whats going on with him, he said.
If there is Charles McMansion, it will probably be something I carry on myself.
I dont know whats going on with him.
I left and ended up in conversation with Pandora at the bar.
Later, I asked Ken for a photo with him and Giggy, and he obliged.
For Tom Sandoval and Tom Schwartz, I imagine the moment came this week.
For me, the moment came when I arrived outside of Tom Tom.
(She was one of the first!)
