The Real Housewives of Potomac
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We are STILL at the Fat Bird Resort.
Therere still a few secrets to be revealed under the warm and hospitable gaze of the all-knowing Fat Bird.
This episode started with some typical Karen spin about the question that was posed as the cliff-hanger last week.
She also says that his stress level is high and hes not feeling well.
You know what is a great stress reliever?
Paying your god damn taxes, Ray.
Robyn chimes in again about Karen calling her a dizzy bitch.
Then Karen reveals that shes going to make a fragrance and shes in the discovery phase.
Yknow that business-planning phase?
She says that Ray may have asked her for another divorce to protect her from the IRS investigation.
Is she just a Tennessee Williams character just waiting for the truth to be revealed in the second act?
Oooh, that got dark.
That bogus thick-ass honey-colored wig is a delight.
Part of Moniques defense is that Ashley is just a lightweight.
Monique feels betrayed that Ashley would go behind her back and gossip about her.
Monique also says that she doesnt want to mess around with people who have nothing to lose.
Monique tries to pretend that shes all apple cider vinegar and ginger health tonics but that bitch is shady.
This is a sort of reverse exposure therapy cooked up by her ghostwriter.
She takes some time to FaceTime Robyn to vent about her relationship troubles.
Gizelle sent Sherman an article about their relationship fromPeoplemagazine and he hasnt talked her to in 29 hours.
Maybe hes in a Marvel movie marathon, Gizelle.
Karen goes to see that lil dude she claims is her assistant.
Their relationship freaks me out and its way too casual.
Matt carries himself with the informal attitude of someone who has seen Karen nude.
We all know he has.
Im not saying they did anything but hes seen her body.
Shes planning a scent event and she would like eveyrones feedback about her upcoming fragrance.
Some of Karens possible names for her perfume: FIERCE, FIRE, EVASION.
Then comes the portion of the episode where we get to see two dysfunctional mother-daughter relationships.
Candaice meets with her mom and her wedding planner to look at a possible venue.
Her wedding planner comes in, gives a few estimates, and leaves within four minutes of sitting down.
Unfortunately, Candaices mother sticks around to dish out some advice thats just her talking shit about Candaices father.
That might be true, but theres gotta be a better way to introduce that into conversation.
Candaice walks off in tears and you cant blame her.
Meanwhile, Ashley goes to see her mom and verify shes getting out of her house.
This goes about as well as expected.
We also see a completely different side of Ashley and her moms relationship.
Just call her mom The Vixen because shes there to fight.
This whole story line is becoming more and more uncomfortable.
Bravo, can we just not?
Again, if you have to say it, your argument isnt that strong.
Finally, its time for Karens perfume party.
Shes invited a scent expert and does not want any of these ladies to embarrass her.
Everyone arrives and Monique has decided that she no longer fucks with Ashley for ruining her reputation.
You were the one who fell asleep at the wheel in the middle of the day.
So Monique is detoxing from Ashleys bad energy.
Of course, the ice gets broken and Ashley and Monique start going after each other.
Monique says that shes an actual businesswoman who isnt concerned with losing her allowance.
THIS ISTHE REAL HOUSEWIVES, KAREN.
She gets security to escort everyone out.
Once outside, Robyn and Gizelle start rolling their eyes about Monique and her businesses.
Monique turns her attention to Robyn when Robyn suggests that Monique might have a problem.
I believe that Ashley is somewhat concerned for Monique.
Robyn doesnt even care if Monique lives or dies.
Karen tries to get security involved once Monique and Robyn get in each others faces.
I would pay GOOD MONEY to see these two physically fight.
Im ready, Bravo.
Give me what I want!
