The Real Housewives of Potomac
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She is a Tennessee Williams heroine in the middle of Potomac.
Shes actively trying, but completely failing.
TRAGIC FIGURE INCAPABLE OF CHANGE.
Ashley isnt the only one with mama drama, either.
Shes not popping by.
Shes going downstairs in a house she owns.
Candiace keeps quietly revealing that her mother pays for everything and doesnt think she can handle her hair business.
Where is Candiaces fiance in all of this?
Is he pitching in with the hair business?
Candiace living with her mom is not aspirational or luxurious.
How is she supposed to bang with her mom upstairs?
Thats no way to live and bang.
Ashley has what scientists would call a lot of nerve.
Shes also going to read from her NEW BOOK.
Its loosely inspired by Gizelles life.
Shes got a ghost writer and theyve written a chapter and theyre shopping it around.
Ashley goes to see her therapist and spills everything about her relationship with her mom.
When Ashley was 5, her mother left her to go live with a boyfriend.
Ashley was raised by her grandparents.
Her mom has a child with the deadbeat boyfriend and theyve been on and off for about 15 years.
Karen and Gizelle meet up for lunch to bury the hatchet over … Gizelles T-shirt?
My god, Karens complete lack of humor is EXHAUSTING.
Bitch, your husband is in trouble for tax evasion.
At some point, you gotta laugh.
She also decides to order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Ordering the most expensive thing when you know your friend is paying is a STRANGE look.
Monique goes to counseling with her husband at her pastors house and she reveals that she had a miscarriage.
She doesnt seem like shes really thought about it or dealt with it beyond that it happened.
Her pastor says, When you stretch yourself thin, youre no longer working on purpose.
Youre working on passion and passion cannot sustain you.
Which is the most opaque statement Ive ever heard.
Its time for the garden party!
Charrisse is there and Im tired of her.
She seems pretty smug and keeps trashing Karen in her confessionals even though she isnt even a cast member.
She doesnt provide enough drama or fun to justify her continued inclusion.
Gizelle opens up the garden party with a reading from her book and its … rough.
After the book club section is over, Gizelle opens the floor up to grievances.
Most of them involve Robyn.
First is the beef between Robyn and Ashley.
Robyn finally screams at her, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITHME?
and Ashley doesnt have an answer.
Robyn says that Ashley has disrespected her over and over.
The consensus is just to mind your business.
Next is Robyns beef with Monique.
This could all be cleared up if someone explain to Robyn how fan pages work.
The garden party is mostly successful and everyone heads home in a good mood.
She explains that this deadbeat boyfriend is causing problems in her mothers life and Ashleys life and Ashleys marriage.
And that the guy was living in a tent when they met.
Ashleys mom just cant change or tell Ashley that shes going to break up with her boyfriend.
