The Real Housewives of Potomac
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Of all theReal Housewivesfranchises, this one feels the most like everyone is firmly in the sixth grade.
Theres a particular paranoia and jealousy that permeates the sixth grade.
Who just got arealbra?
Is everyone talking about me behind my back?
This episode starts with Gizelle and Robyn finally crossing the threshold at Karens charity event.
They have walked in with their jeans and bodysuits and they are ready to cause some shit.
Gizelle starts out by comparing Shermans ex, Kyndall, to a horse.
First of all, dont we already have enough people with names I cannot spell (CANDAICE?
And is there a more sixth-grade insult than calling somebody a horseface?
Karen pulls a Karen and finds security guard and tells them to escort Robyn and Gizelle out.
Karen also tells the security guard that Robyn and Gizelles hearts arent in the right place.
Thats not a valid reason to escort someone out of a building, Karen.
Security doesnt need that data.
Then they show a montage of Gizelle being escorted out of various buildings and gatherings.
I love when a montage is shady.
Charisse claims that she didnt know that Robyns event was … organized by Robyn.
Who else would be holding a squints real-estate-flipping seminar disguised as womens empowerment?
Give her back a glass of Champagne or get her off my TV.
Why did they have to make checks out to Karens for-profit business for her charity event?
Even though Monique has issues with the legality of the checks, she wrote one anyway.
I cant wait for someone from the IRS to watch this show.
Whats Candiace up to?
He just says No.
Give this man a show.
Candiace keeps calling Chris a smartass and annoying for telling her tostick to the budget for their 400-person wedding.
It legit looks cool and Im excited for her.
Uncle Lump is like Fuck that dude.
Everything hes saying should be completely and totally obvious.
Michael is what we call a bad person, and Ashley should be very prepared to walk away.
Oh shit, I forgot her dumb ass just extended their prenup.
This is not good.
Karen is just disappointed in all the drama because she has a national platform for her charity.
Robyn and Gizelle talk about how Karen needs to file for nonprofit status.
I love bitches talking business trash.
Robyn says that shes not sure of Moniques intentions regarding her friendship with Charisse.
What could Moniques sinister intentions be?
Everyone should be more worried about getting in a car with Monique.
Ashley and Candiace head to lunch at Oz and Candiace tells Ashley that yeah … Michael is a dick.
Candiace also treats her wedding-budget drama like its some problem happening outside her control.
Robyn and Charisse meet for lunch and Robyn tells Charisse to be careful around Monique.
Gizelle heads to the CBC event to set up her booth and she starts shade-matching people.
Ashley, Charisse, and Robyn head over to the event to support Gizelle.
Karen and Monique show up, completely ignore Gizelles booth, and do an entire lap.
Monique says that they have an event to go to that night so they better go change.
ROBYN decides to SHOUT LIAR at Monique and Karen as they walk away.
Karen takes this as an act of racial hostility and Monique says they dont have any couth.
I had to look up if you could use couth as a noun.
Charisse says shes going to investigate whats going on with Monique.
I mean equivalent offenses if you ask me.
She has taken off her ring in anger and theyre both crying in the bathroom.
This relationship is less stable than Ikea furniture put together by a toddler.
She admits that she took her aggression out on him and he re-proposes and they make up.
