The Real Housewives Of Potomac
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Not a single person up there on those couches was unbothered.
Everyone was the definition of bothered.
Everyone was disturbed, agitated, and bothered.
Except one person …
Did everyone else notice the stoic and enduring patience of Gizelle during this episode?
Gizelle is our rock.
She is, strangely, our emotional rock during this reunion.
Gizelle is the voice of reason.
If you ever feel yourself wavering or feeling like youve lost your way, look at Gizelle.
Lets get to this reunion.
The episode starts with all the ladies arriving to get made up.
LETS TALK ABOUT THESE LOOKS.
Who let them all out there like this?
Candiace looks like she was involved in a terrible pleating accident on the way to the studio.
CUTOUTS.with nude rope accents.
Karen looks like shes on an episode ofSay Yes to the Dressepisode called Flirty over Fifty!
Monique is five months pregnant and shes not a lazy mom!
Ashley just turned 30 and went to Bhutan for a meditation trip and did an alcohol cleanse with Michael.
Robyn has short hair now!
Andy is matte and ready to get into it.
I refuse to believe that anyone is stopping Miss United States 2013 in LAX.
I couldnt recognize any pageant winner from this year let alone five years ago.
Up next is the discussion of Monique falling asleep at the wheel.
Thats just an asshole move.
Monique is mostly concerned that her character is being insulted.
The guy in questiondefinitelyshoplifted.
Did he spend the time we spent trying to handle the issue saying that he didnt shoplift?
Did he spend the entire time we spent questioning him ranting about how we were destroying his character?
You bet your ass he did.
That doesnt stop Monique from flipping out on everyone and being super-defensive.
The women are arranged on the couches strategically.
Robyn tries to say that she asked Monique about her accident out of genuine concern.
I believe she was 50 percent genuinely concerned.
Monique says that her frustration with Robyn and Gizelle was misguided.
Thats a funny way to apologize.
Then the discussion goes to Moniques alleged business and blog.
Gizelle says she hasnt looked at the website because the name offended her.
Being a mom is the hardest job in the world.
Monique says that she could be friends with Gizelle because Gizelle can give good advice and showing empathy.
Gizelle says that Monique needs to own up to what shes done and apologize.
Up next is Candiace.
Do we all have to keep talking about her sus-bands weird dick?
Monique won me over by saying Dont nobody wanna see no mismatched dick!
Candiace says some nonsense about not seeing color and seeing the person for who they are.
The pagagent is over, girl.
Just be with your white boyfriend with his Neapolitan dick.
Ashley and Candiace get into a shouting match and Ashley says that Candiace was in an off-brand pageant.
Candiace reveals that Gizelle is the only one not invited to the wedding.
Up next is Robyn and her issues with Karen and Monique over their events.
Andy reads a message from a viewer that says Siri doesnt correct to Yes when you dictate yay!
Monique says that Gizelle likes to use Robyn as a puppet.
I guess Monique cant fathom that Robyn independently decided that she doesnt like her.
She keeps acting like this is just like any other fan running a fan page.
Up next is Karen.
Karen makes it REALLY HARD to like her.
It also doesnt help that shes refusing to answer any questions about whats going on in her life.
She could answer the questions withoutanswering the questionsand get people off her back.
Karen believes that everyones attacks on her are well-planned and entirely malicious.
It definitely can go too far but they seem to care about each other.
Karen absolutely deserves to be angry and put off by their insinuations about Rays finances.
The women are equally put-off by Karen talking down to them about their lives when hers is a mess.
Maybe going on a reality-show reunion two weeks after your fathers funeral is abad idea.
Shout out for Karen saying that she is tired of being strong.
To be continued …
