The Real Housewives of Orange County
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First is Kelly Dodds.
Someone call animal control, because theres a cougar loose in the OC.
First of all the phrase seems totally tacked on and extraneous to what she is trying to say.
There is just a cougar loose in general; we dont need to be told exactly where.
Maybe it was recorded later?
Anyway, I dont like it.
Even worse is Shannon Beadors tagline: Some people say Im too much to handle.
I say Im just getting started.
Syntactically this makes no sense at all.
The construction she is using is about reinterpreting someones opinion.
For example, Some people say Im lazy.
I just say Im comfortable.
The second adjective reframes and subverts the first one.
Shannon is not doing that because too much to handle is by no means related to just getting started.
No, that cant be true.
Is it supposed to be a warning?
If you thought I was too much to handle before, just wait because Im just getting started.
This is complete nonsense and it is just more evidence that these women write their own damn taglines.
This week we were also introduced to another new Housewife.
This one is Gina and she looks like Anna Fariss wax figure at Madame Tussauds.
What concerns me is that we have yet to catch a glimpse of him.
When he calls her he is on the regular phone, not the normal Housewives speakerphone or a FaceTime.
Is he a money launderer for the mob?
Is he an undercover cop?
Is he in witness protection?
Is he just a very, very private person?
None of these things are going to mesh well with his wife being on a reality television program.
(Cue a recording ofLeeAnne Locken saying,Her husband gets his dicks sucked at the Round Up.
I know the boys that did it.)
Her first charm offensive is to send food to Tamras house after Eddies surgery.
Who was the delivery guy at the door who says, Vicki sent you food.
Like is this a friend of theirs?
Is this a PA?
Was it an employee of Coto Insurance that didnt make his quota that month?
Why is the guy referring to Vicki by name?
Why does he know so much about this delivery?
I mean this medically.
The answer is no.
Vicki shows up wearing a garment that defies description.
Its like a half caftan made out of peacock feathers or something.
Not only is the material mysterious but so are the fit and proportions.
Its like a fur vest, but it also somehow has sleeves?
There is no, But you hurt me too.
There is no equivocating.
She just says that she is wrong and she begs for his forgiveness.
This being Vicki, she has to do something to make it awkward.
Vicki should have known that all of this was wrong without the Bible telling her it was wrong.
Take what happens when she goes to visit Kelly at her new house.
Kelly welcomes her and then asks Vicki if Vicki set Kellys ex-husband Michael up with a woman.
Vicki has a defense at the ready, like she knew this was coming.
Michael was at a barbecue at my house and met a friend of mine and they got together separately.
Yes, Vicki is correct, she did not set Michael up on a date with someone else.
For Vicki, who thinks she should be excused on a technicality, that should be enough.
She should at least distance herself from Michael for a little bit.
If Kelly is her friend (and co-worker) then Michael shouldnt be popping by for barbecues.
Kelly Dodd is extremely right about this.
Vicki very easily could have said, Actually he met someone at my house and theyre dating.
But she didnt because shes Vicki and she cant do even the most basic of decent things.
Kelly seems upset because she had to find out from someone else and then confront Vicki about it.
Vicki thinks that Kellys mad because she set Michael up and that Michael is now dating someone.
That is not it at all.
Michael met some girl at my house.
Vicki is the one who could have kept this from being a problem but didnt.
Then she totally is telling her friend that her anger is invalid right there in her own house.
Thank God Kelly kicked her out.
I think I would kick her out of the entire show.
But then what would we talk about?
Probably someones money-laundering husband.
