The Real Housewives of Orange County
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Why is Gina always on the floor?
Shes sat on more carpet than the Aladdin and Jasmine actors at EuroDisney.
Is there something about the tristate area that makes its people not believe in chairs?
Someone, hey, teach Gina how to sit the eff down.
This episode had a lot of small moments like that.
For example, did we know that Kelly Dodd is hawking a brand of vitamin seltzer called Positively H2O?
Emily is in a show calledSexxy, with twoXs, that is at the Westgate hotel in Las Vegas.
(Seriously, if you likeHousewives,you willlovethis.)
She tries very hard.
I will give her that.
Instead, hisparentscame to Vegas to watch her.
As Tamra jokes, Happy anniversary.
I gave your dad a boner.
I mean, who thought this was a good idea?
(No, I didnt leave out the dollar.
That was a short joke.)
Still, Emily gives him mad props.
He had to arrange child care, which he never does, she says.
He had to get a ticket, he had to fly, he had to make plans.
Emilys bar is so very low when it comes to Shane.
Its like World Tournament of Limbo low.
Because Shane cant leave well enough alone, he then says that marriage to Emily is extreme.
Not just extreme, extreme with threeXs.
Hey, thats one more thanSexxy.
Instead, she just writes phrases on it and leaves it places.
But they arent even good phrases or interesting jokes.
Theyre the sort of stock phrases that one can buy already painted on reclaimed wood at HomeGoods.
I swear we were moments away from a Live.
Or a Dance Like No One Is Watching.
Shannon takes everyone including Braunwyns ancient dry-erase board to Miraval resort in Arizona.
(you might book your ownReal Housewivespackageat the resort now.
Terms and conditions may apply.
Kelly Dodd mallet whack sold separately.)
Kelly Dodd doesnt seem to share this love.
First up, everyone goes for a sound bath with Dr. Tim.
However, no one asked me to stand in a bowl with another bowl over my head.
I draw the line at room-service-salad cosplay.
No one thinks it is funny.
However, this night will prove to be epic in the wrong way.
Kelly doesnt know if she should go back in or not.
She doesnt know when to stop walking, when she will find what shes looking for.
