The Real Housewives of Orange County
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Its not right what they did to me.
Im just going to sit here …
I need a day.
I just need a day to collect myself and get over everything they said to me.
They told me Im not a good friend.
They said I am mentally unwell.
Amanda, did you hear them?
How do you expect me to get on a bus with them, Amanda?
If you make me, Im out of here.
Dont do this to me, Amanda.
It actually continued on for another 29 minutes in the same spiral of rabid self-involvement.
They confront Vicki at lunch who denies it but then says, Drink, drink, drink.
Get me a M-er F-ing drink.
Except she said the actual words.
Is this thing even on?
And then the guy who works there is like, Is it for you?
And Vicki says, Oh, its not for me.
Im at least a medium.
Vicki just scored in the 100 point Skee-Ball ZING!
hole and the tickets came pouring out of the machine like a Slurpee where the valve is stuck open.
But what if Vicki isnt the problem?
What if its Shannon Beador and herGrumpy Beardisposition that have doomed this franchise to rot?
Shannon also delivered us a good first half of the episode too, but quite inadvertently.
While the fight did get good, the problem with it is that it has no text or subtext.
Shes loonier than a Canadian one-dollar coin.
Shes loonier than every seasonal flavor of Oreos combined.
Shes loonier than … me continuing this bad joke for so long.
There is a lot on my plate.
Sorry I cant handle anything else new.
She then says, Im justified in where I place my time.
Oh, got it.
Thats not awful at all.
Not, like shes a sorority girl from the 1990s.
Oh wait, she totally was.
(As was I, but at least I dont say that anymore.)
This is why I think Shannon is the problem.
Also, how stupid is it to wave off the cameraman?
We have seen this happen on every single reality show ever and does it ever work?
Saying, Dont film me, is the kiss of death.
Shockingly enough, Tamra Barney Judge is the one who is the voice of reason in all of this.
Shannon Beador is like that friend at a group dinner that stubs her toe.
Then she has to talk about it the entire dinner.
She cries about it at the table.
She asks the waitress for an ice cube for her toe.
Its not just the pain she craves, its the validation from the attention.
Its that she matters because she can make other people be concerned about her.
It needs to have its pain felt in the drooping faces of others.
Shannons stubbed toe is sucking all of the energy out of the room.
Im with Kelly on this one, maybe she needs to be taking a little something.
That seemed to be the worst thing anyone said though, questioning Shannons mental capacity.
She then accused Tamra of saying it, even though she kept quiet.
Shannon kept accusing Tamra of saying it, but the genius editors replayed the footage to acquit Tamra.
The meanest part of that is that the chyron said, Six Minutes Earlier.
The stinger is six, like they actually took the time to measure it out.
What a glorious, glorious indictment.
Shes never really gotten into anyone elses drama, because shes been so consumed by her own.
Shannon wasnt mad about what Vicki did, she was mad that she had been duped.
