The Real Housewives Of New York City
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This has been a barn-burner of a season.
But now we end it here.
God, what a boring, typical, Real Housewives fight!
Dorinda was wearing a striped sequin jumpsuit and Divines eye makeup fromMultiple Maniacs.
Caroles outfit was also gem-tone sequins, but in splotches.
Their outfits looked like the best of frenemies.
Tinsley looked like a mother of the bride in one shoulder ruffle and pants.
Both Ramona and Bethenny kept it classy in black sparkles and simple hair.
If you wanted him to come, you should have bought a ticket, she reports Luann said.
OK, that is a really sick burn.
If Luann said that then I can understand how that would be very hurtful and dismissive.
However, I am sympathetic to the Countess with this one.
This is a ticketed event where everyone has to have a seat.
On the day of the event, Dorinda calls to confirm that John is coming.
Thats a pretty stressful place to put Luann in and pretty short notice for such an event.
Tinsley wants to know if she should tell Dorinda, who is already worked up about the John thing.
The most curious thing about this whole storyline was that Carole was uncharacteristically driving it all.
Is it because she hates Luann and wants to make trouble for her?
Was it that she wanted to stir the pot so she wouldnt get fired after this season?
like shes one of the producers on the show.
Tinsley tells Dorinda and this pisses her off even more.
That coupled with the drinks at the cabaret causes her to start shouting Jovani!
Someone bring me a cup of Jovani!
forgetting that the name of the Greek yogurt brand is actually Chobani.
This is the company that Dorinda set Luann up with that provided all of her dresses for the cabaret.
The Housewives seemed to think that the whole cabaret was a call-and-response kind of atmosphere.
With hecklers like these, who needs a pack of wheezing hyenas to call friends?
Otherwise the cabaret was pretty spectacular and I must say that Im really pissed that I missed it.
Laura Benanti and Tony Yazbeck are both Tony winners and Broadway legends.
The star of the show, of course, is Sonja, who brought her caburlesque stylings.
And what Cretan would want it any other way?
I completely agree with Ben.
If you meet Madonna you dont want her to be nice.
That is the only way the experience would be complete.
The same goes for Sonja on stage.
If I dont see at least some of her underwear, I want a refund.
The after-party was a total mess.
Its almost like when you have a hangover and you puke and then you miraculously feel better.
The puking was their fight in Cartagena and now they can go back to something resembling normal.
But what happened between the finale and the reunion that Carole and Bethenny have such acrimony?
Probably everything theyve said about each other all season long.
Ramona comes over and Bethenny basically says, Will you go away, were talking.
She could have included Ramona in the conversation.
God, Bethenny really has no clue how she comes across.
No wonder everyone on the show is sick of dealing with her.
Ramona wasnt any better though.
The whole thing was just disgusting, especially Ramonas fake indignation that Bethenny doesnt support women.
That is not what a real friend does.
A real friend goes to lend support anyway.
Ramonas skin care is her latest shitty boyfriend.
Just go and meet him already, Bethenny.
Its a lot better than the alternative.
Dorinda, however, was the one who made the biggest fool out of herself at the party.
Something happens to Dorinda when she gets wasted where she starts to look like a wilted flower.
The thing that marks Dorinda the most when shes drunk, however, is that shes cruel.
Dorinda says, I dont want to talk about this on your big night.
Dorinda managed to do both in one sentence.
It was one of the meanest things I have ever seen a person do on reality television.
Whats even worse is that she does it again.
After trashing Luann to her face, Dorinda then turns and says, Congratulations.
Have a nice night, like the really vicious queen that she is.
Ive not been Dorindas biggest fan all season, but this really did it for me.
Its a common Housewife ailment I like to call Brandi Glanville Syndrome.
Dorinda emerged, blurry eyed, into the cold night on her way out of the party.
Ramona came next, stampeding with a friend and shouting about how Bethenny had let her down once again.
The Countess, of course, left last.
It was that drug she had chased for so long, that she hated them for.
It was one with so few dealers but so many sources.
She had learned a lot this year, however, from loss and tribulation.
How he would do anything she asked, no matter how craven, no matter how sad.
She wished now she hadnt.
Even just at the house, curled up with the new season ofHouse of Cards.
Bobby lovedHouse of Cards.Now Jill Zarin knew that she didnt need it any more.
She didnt have to chase it.
Her work here was done.
She rolled up the window and had the driver take her home.
