The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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Oooooklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin down the plain!
Teresa, meanwhile, remains adamant that its on her sister-in-law to force Joe to visit Giacinto.
What could have prevented such a terrible misunderstanding?
Could they have had a conversation, with their mouths?
The anniversary of their mothers passing was March 3.
Why is this only coming up now?)
In the van from the airport, Teresa gaily informs the group that she considered flaking on them.
Why the fuck am I going to Oklahoma?
I almost didnt make the flight!
she says, a charmer as always.
The women are staying in the very nice home of Margarets business pal Polly.
Teresa is relieved to hear they wont be expected to milk any cows.
Congratulations to Joe on his udder-looking penis, I guess.
Time to check in with the new kids on the block!
We learn Jennifer has a piano in her home that no one knows how to play.
I really wanted a white piano in my new house, she explains.
Margaret brands Jennifer a one-upper.
The grace period called for by the Eileen Davidson Accord remains in effect; Im just providing data points.
Lots and lots of data points.
Its also worth noting that, throughout this episode, Jennifer gives the impression of aligning herself with Teresa.
Jackie is firmly Team Melissa.
Over dinnerTeresa brought her own broccoli, from…
I have no idea whereJackie shares that she suffered from anorexia.
Melissas tears make Teresa really pissed, because they are somehow further evidence of her disloyalty to her father-in-law.
Teresa is perhaps even more counterintuitively irritated to learn that Joe has made plans with Giacinto.
Teresa shares this theory at the breakfast table.
Joe is going to explode if she keeps this up, Melissa complains.
Then you should make him not fucking explode, Teresa counters.
Youre like,Your wife, your wife, your wife, Melissa says.
Teresa and Melissa in 2018 look an awful lot like Teresa and Melissa in 2013.
And are we 100 percent sure the house is abandoned?
What is Lexis accent?
Is she from… England?
Every additional syllable only confuses me more.
I dont know if youre ever really going to love me like your real sister.
But then Teresa reminds me.
Who gives a shit about that?
she says of Melissas speech in a confessional.
Uh-huh, Teresa says.
