The Real Housewives of Dallas
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Flip fire up the last window on your Advent calendar!
The extremely over-discussed Kameron-Stephanie-LeeAnne lunch is finally upon us.
To be fair, she seems like shes enjoying herself.
For one thing, Kameron pronouncessteak-fritesas steak frittays, and for that I could kiss her on the face.
(Discussion question for the class: Where we would we find LeeAnne in the extended Barbie universe?
I submit:Cutlery Funtime Midge With Things in Her Hands That Are, in Fact, Knives.)
The trio gets served three unsolicited tequila shots, which they sip demurely.
Im in the right group!
Across town, a pair of tequila shots are being consumed much more enthusiastically.
In fact, DAndra says, shed be really surprised if a wedding actually happens.
Im not saying I have, but I have.)
That night, DAndra makes a serious tactical error.
LeeAnne confronts Brandi about what Cary said: That Brandi said LeeAnne was poisoning Kameron against her.
The women rise to the occasion in their San Junipero xRomy and Micheles High School Reunionfinery.
Brandi, in boy drag, picks her date up in a stretch limo.
(c’mon take this as the high compliment I mean it to be.)
Brandi, bizarrely, sees fit to press her No.
1 frenemy on the status of her wedding.
Its not your fucking business, LeeAnne replies, extremely correctly.
Brandi deploys her favorite phrase to call bullshit and accuse LeeAnne of being jealous of DAndra.
If LeeAnne is theoretically jealous of DAndra, does that also make her theoreticallyjealous of Deevia the transitive property?
Things go even worse between LeeAnne and DAndra, which is honestly kind of an achievement.
(This was the original tagline ofSay Yes to the Dress.)
Its not all bad.
LeeAnne Locken may not have attended her prom, but shes crowned the queen of this one.
[Its] like God saying, Im proud of you.
LeeAnne, keep doing you, girl.
Youre a good person, she explains in a confessional, choking up.
At this moment in time, I think that tiara might be her closest friend.
