The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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They sat on a couch and talked.
That is all they did for an hour.
All of us, every single one of us dupes, watched the entire damn thing.
There are still two more episodes left to talk about this boring-ass season.
Thats like making a three-part opera cycle out of oneWizard of Idcartoon from last Tuesdays newspaper.
As you all know, I hate the reunions.
Well, thats not true.
I dont mind the reunions.
Let us start with the magenta couch.
I dont know why these reunions dont have a theme.
Why cant the Housewives get a brief and interpret it any way they want?
At least there would be some visual cohesion to this affair.
She looks like the most expensive geode in the Museum of Natural History gift store.
Dorit, as always, is doing way too much.
Her outfit is busier than the nations vibrators after Drake drops a new video.
However, a reunion is a seated affair.
Why is Dorit always putting shit on her head?
Its like a sports car transformed itself into a dress.I like the cars, the cars that go Va-Va-Voom.
What I didnt like is that she changed up her signature hairstyle and gave us old lady Shirley Temple.
She explains its the same hair she had inPlayboy,so I shouldnt be so mean to it.
But it was like seeing a zebra without its stripes.
Teddi looks absolutely stunning.
Shes wearing a simple, short white dress with a plunging neckline that looks smashing on her killer bod.
Also, for reading Dorit right to her face, I have decided that I officially like Teddi.
There, I said it.
I know it was always her signature, but who knew that it was literally weighing her down?
Is she wearing contacts or did the hair do that?
As for what actually happened?
Oh, who cares?
Im as over it as Erika.
Erika is so obviously over this thing, it was a little bit uncomfortable to watch.
(To be fair, my boyfriend has also not read it.)
A lot of fans have not liked Erikas performance this season and this is not helping at all.
What is so sneaky about all of this is that it reeks of subtext.
I wish they could just finally break that fourth wall and tell us all what is really going down.
So far, there have only been two winners at this reunion.
Finally, Teddi has grown some balls.
Then she says, Im not on trial here.
But she is on trial by Teddi.
Shes on trial by all of them.
That is Dorits fatal flaw, that she refuses to see how her behavior can harm or affect anyone.
