The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Mama, tell me the story of the night I was born.
Of course, honey.
I put on my ballgown and went to confront model Cynthia Bailey about her weird ex-boyfriend.
Then I rushed to the hospital and now I have you!
There were a few threads we had to wrap up before it was time to get Kim out there.
What drove the two to a screaming match?
Kim took a picture of NeNes car?
NeNe, you got kicked off your friends tour by telling someone to go get raped.
Maybe put things into perspective and let this shit with Kim slide.
Lets get to it.
Well, two or three.
The most interesting thing is when Andy asks Marlo where her money comes from.
Shes the sole proprietor of Simply Marlo, LLC.
I mean, its a damn good bullet.
Porsha says that she went to Cynthia and had a one-on-one conversation about it in San Francisco.
Cynthia corrects her that Cynthia actually came to Porsha.
Porsha says, To-may-to.
To-mah-to, and Cynthia says, Po-tay-to.
Then she says, Oh, thats what it is.
Porsha is impossibly dumb.
Porsha finally says that it was all a bad choice and she wishes she wasnt a part of it.
She finally apologizes for the situation without a but.
Kandi doesnt want it coming up again, so she accepts Porshas apology.
Kenya asks for a cocktail and NeNe says under her breath, Youre pregnant.
I printed out that moment and put it on my Kenya Mystery Pregnancy board.
Its time for a little break and Sheree goes back to say hi to Kim.
Sheree says that theyre all asking her to hold Kim accountable.
Andy tells them they all have to get back on set if they want to leave by daybreak.
Eva shuffles onto set between contractions.
He asks if Evas fiance can convince Marc Daly to come around on the show.
Then theres more of this strange psychosexual drama about everyone being attracted to Kandi.
In fact, it would probably be amazing television.
That sounds like a good TV show.
Andy asks Eva why Shamea couldnt ask her about her sexuality but Eva could ask about Will.
Yall, Shamea worked her hardest to do what everyone wanted.
Eva just says that Shamea was repeating a rumor and making it about what her fiance wants and EvasawWill.
In the end, Cynthia and Will arent together and they never even slept together.
In my experience, a pretty boy is never worth the trouble, bangwise.
Cynthia has a new dark-skinned boyfriend, so lets move on.
Kim shows up with her shoes and her Solo cup in her hand.
This Solo cup thing is no longer cute.
At least get some kind of branded cup.
Quit giving Solo the publicity.
Andy asks her whats the end game for her lips.
Andy first calls Kim out for saying that Cynthia is lucky shes beautiful or she wouldnt have gotten far.
Kim tries to play it like it was a compliment.
She also gives Cynthia the compliment that she has no backbone.
Then NeNe and Kim turn their sights on each other.
They just start screaming WHO GIVES A FUCK?
The answer is Clearly you bitches.
Dont they have better drama?
Get to the better drama!
They each start calling each other jealous and trash.
NeNe gets up and is looming over Kim.
Okay, part three of this reunion might be pretty good.
