The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Tonight is the night.
These titans, these giants face off against each other.
There is nothing to hold them back and theyre laying it all on the line.
If they win, they keep their jobs and if they lose, they might be gone forever.
This show has it all.
Unfortunately, Andy started burning through the good stuff right at the top.
Can Marlo pronounce the word bond?
If you ask me, the answer to all three is No.
Lets get into it.
Idesperatelyhopewe get more of that and I know we will.
If someone says, Are you pregnant?
and youre really pregnant, your answer isnt Is that a question?
There aint no baby, right?
I mean, cmon.
Like the baby is a single.
We got a baby dropping at the end of the year!
Kenya cant even talk like a mother.
She says she doesnt want to give too many details and get past a safe place.
The whole thing is women wont publicly announce until theyve reached a certain point.
Not half-announce it on a reality-TV show reunion and then walk it back when people start asking questions.
The first topic of conversation is a montage of everyones looks and wigs.
Its fun to see the era when the wigs really kicked into overdrive.
Kandi also went through a rooster phase, according to one of the fan questions.
Andy takes the fashion montage to ask Sheree when She by Sheree will be dropping.
Well see Baby by Kenya before She by Sheree.
Up next is a montage of Kandi and her successful year.
She tells Andy that she was annoyed with Todd for bringing attention to Porsha at herEssencecover party.
Kandi also says that what Porsha did could have ruined everything she worked for.
Porshas argument is that she apologized, accepted Kandis invitation so Porsha was ready to move forward.
HERE IS WHAT I THINK THE PROBLEM IS.
Well, several problems.
I genuinely dont think Porsha thinks what she did was all that bad.
Its unclear if she knows that accusing someone of trying to rape her is bad.
She probably thinks it was just a cheap move, buteveryonepulls cheap moves.
Beyond that, Porsha probably thought that it was all part of the job.
That washer job.To talk shit and give a shot to get under the other womens skin.
And shes a petty bitch who cant even pretend to apologize to save face.
A good apology isnt I ALREADY APOLOGIZED!
Its I did something bad.
It hurt you and was wrong.
I apologize for my actions.
Porsha keeps wanting to talk about her part in all of it instead of just apologizing.
She thinks that a sincere apology is lowering herself in front of everyone and thats just so tired.
Be an adult and apologize even if you dont mean it.
We all do it.
Marlo joins the group and Andy asks Marlo about her friendship with Kenya.
Kenya launches into an attack on Marlo about her alleged relationships.
Kenya tries to embarrass Marlo by asking her about John.
Apparently, hes a john named John.
Which is the title of the worst childrens book.
You cant make a bad bitch feel bad.
Imagine trying to explain that to someone in 2005.
Kenya also demands a level of privacy for her marriage that she never gave anyone else.
You cant ask someone who follows their own cuckoo logic to explain something and have it make sense.
This bitch tried to say she had a baby dropping later this year.
She also says that shes only met his parents over the phone.Girl.This marriage is … something.
Then she tries to deflect attention from herself by saying that everyone knows that Cynthia cant keep a secret.
Cynthia is supposed to be your real friend!
Dont do that to her!
Porsha is back in the hot seat again.
This time to explain why she told Shamea that Sheree wasnt to be trusted.
Porsha tries to make it about the plates and some other bullshit.
Everyone just keeps yelling, Bone collector!
Its a great acting exercise to make everyone say the same thing with a different intention.
NeNe tells Sheree that all this bone collector bullshit makes her look terrible and Sheree thinks she looks great!
Then everyone wants to know why Sheree doesnt ever check Kim or bring out Kims bones.
NeNe wants some more answers about Sheree and Kim.
Luckily, well only have to wait a week for Kim to give us those answers.
