The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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The allure of Truth or Dare certainly wears off somewhere after 12th grade for most people.
But these women (who are not in middle school) play way too much Truth or Dare.
Someone needs to tell me if these women are all deeply attracted to each other.
I wouldnt be upset or confused.
In fact, I would prefer it and understand it.
Just ask a friend.
Ask a friend to suck their fingers.
Maybe well end up somewhere interesting, like a seven-person non-monogamous sexual relationship.
I WOULD WATCH IT.
I would definitely watch it over a bunch of grown women figuring out a trip.
Lets get to it.
Porsha starts the episode off by saying shes keeping her pregnancy a secret.
Shes going to spend an afternoon working with Dennis.
Is this a thing?
Going to your boyfriends job to hang out and work for an afternoon?
Mama Gina keeps asking Porsha if there is anythingshe should know.Mama Gina knows.
You just look at Mama Gina and know that she knows.
She can smell the hormones shifting in Porshas body.
Everyone is getting ready for NeNes couples trip, but everyones boyfriends and husbands keep suspiciously canceling.
Dennis hurt his leg, its Todds birthday weekend, and Mike Hill just aint going.
Meanwhile, Shamari is packing for the trip and shes got her stylist pulling some outfit options.
Unfortunately, one of those outfit options is a tiny denim vest to be paired with cut-offs.
That is not what everyone is looking for from you.
She really enjoys a tight vest or vest-adjacent item of clothing.
I think its her over-reliance on the vest thats causing people trouble.
Ronnie likes a pair of see-through, rhinestoned leggings.
Anyone else experience a full-body shudder?
Ronnie isnt just sniffing booty, though hes there to sniff out crime.
He noticed at the B00BZ & Bourbon Bonanza that Porsha gave them the cold shoulder.
In case you forgot, Porsha and Shamari went to the same high school.
Shamaris internal desire this episode is to squash the beef between her and Porsha.
Gregg really wanted to go on this trip but he would have been the only guy.
Porsha arrives at the house first and she instantly bonds with Ace.
Her maternal instincts are kicking in early.
Cynthia arrives and shes finally got heels on.
When Cynthias got a man, she turns up the hotness.
I GOTTA WORRY ABOUT TANYA ON THIS TRIP?
I dont care what room she gets.
Tanya needs to win me over immediately.
Gregg drops NeNe off and everyone gives them a standing ovation in the kitchen.
Gregg says he wants them to learn something new about each other.
I think that thing is going to be the color of each others areolas.
NeNe is just fishing for some drama.
Kandi says that Dennis was dating someone pretty seriously up until about a month and a half ago.
This is a real Eva-cant-keep-track-of-the-lies situation.
Porsha just needs to say, I dont care who he was with.
Hes with me now.
Anything beyond that is between him and his god.
Each women picks a number, then they pick a name.
Each name is assigned a number.
Its too much, but relatively drama-free.
Marlo gives Tanya the bunk-bed room and thats why I fucking love Marlo.
Its time for dinner and Cynthia asks about the bachelorette party.
Porsha says that she was invited.
Eva needs one of those things quarterbacks wear on their wrists to track plays, but for her lies.
Then Porsha asks why NeNe wasnt invited.
Eva says she didnt think NeNe would want to come.
I dont like this.
Porsha says she wasnt feeling her that day so she didnt hug her and didnt introduce her to Dennis.
Well, fuck, you cant argue with that.
