The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Im about to say something I never thought I would say: I deeply love Porsha this season.
So thank goodness for Porsha.
Can you imaginemeof all people saying that?
Lets get to it.
Its not a ring, but its averybeautiful Rolex watch.
Porsha is hoping for a smaller box next time.
Porsha and Dennis have a private chef for the night to present them with a romantic meal.
The first course is coconut shrimp.
My private chef should be a step above TGI Fridays Happy Hour.
Can you unzip this just a little bit?
Havent we all been there?
Trapped at a big dinner in a dress with zero give?
I have never been audacious enough to ask the waitstaff to unzip my dress, though.
After dinner, Dennis decides to head the club without Porsha?
What the actual fuck?
This is a strange development.
But after banging Porsha, Dennis the Hot Dog Kingstillgoes to the club!
Put that on a tote bag, bitch.
Its the morning and Dennis has another gift for Porsha.
This time its a giant diamond cross.
He also brought her a toothbrush from the front desk.
Porsha says shes got a whole mouthful of teeth so she needs a better toothbrush.
Then she demands to use Denniss toothbrush.
Porsha, Ive been singing your praises, but sweet Christ, youve gone too far.
Theres no need to announce the argument.
Whats even more unnerving is that this is their first fightand Porsha is convinced theyre about to get engaged.
Oh, honey, noooooooo.
There are certain things inHousewivesthat follow a script, and among them are the bedroom fights.
Is there anyone out there who follows the bedroom at the hotel fight with rapt attention?
What every hotel bedroom fight needs, though, is Marlo.
Its time to surprise NeNe at the comedy show.
On stage, NeNe flutters her tongue and says that was for Kandi.
The comedy show is a success.
Everyone is appropriately disgusted BECAUSE NO ONE DOES THAT, PORSHA.
The two seem to have buried the hatchet and their loud asses seem to get along.
They also went out the night before and Marlo is the only one who has met Dennis.
The gang CANNOT HANDLE IT.
Porshas wig is about to fly off.
Kandis pinky toe is about to fall off.
Readers, I went online to investigate how far these two resort properties are from each other.
Its literally a four-minute walk.
And shes a grandma.
The Swagalicious party is going well until Gregg gets overheated and goes outside.
The party must have really been something if his alternative was to walk outside in the Miami heat.
Everyone comes outside to help Gregg fan himself off.
Yknow what, Gregg, youve earned the right to tell a baffling joke outside in the heat.
Savor it, buddy.
