The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Was this episode supposed to air May 12, 2019?
This whole thing feels like a Mothers Day tribute episode.
Between sonograms and tearful expressions of gratitude, this was a whole lot of motherly love.
Im not complaining, trust me.
Im someone who burst into tears three separate times watchingCrazy Rich Asianson an airplane.
I amherefor emotionally fraught relationships with mothers depicted on-screen, but this just felt a little seasonally inappropriate.
But believe that I am not complaining.
My heart was breaking all over this episode.
Lets get to it!
The episode starts with her in bed moaning because she has gas.
She thinks that PJ, Porsha Jr., has passed gas inside her, so now she has gas.
I dont think it works that way.
Your asshole isnt like a twisted balloon.
If the gas wants to get out, itll get out.
Porsha, youre having a baby.
Then Porsha heads off to the doctor to get her first ultrasound.
The best moment here is Dennis asking, Is that a condom?
and Porsha going, Yes, Dennis.
Thats what a condom looks like.
I mean,I knowwhats going on here, but DAMN!
Yall are out here banging people raw without being on birth control?
In the year of our Lord Lizzo?
I need to move on.
The main emotional story of the episode concerns Cynthia and Noelle.
These two people are so intertwined that Noelle isnt remotely ready to head off to college.
Cynthia sends everyone home and calls NeNe for advice.
NeNes advice is, Cynthia, now listen.
She has to go, which is really all anyone needs to say about the matter.
We have to wait a little bit before Leon comes on the scene and gives some tough love.
I need a Kandi hairstyle historian to help me date that clip).
Mama Joyce said that Kandi took Todd and turned lemons into lemonade.
She doesnt like your husband and shes kind of an emotional supervillain.
Let her just hate him in peace.
Theyre never gonna be friends.
Mama Joyce just says, Girls are difficult.
Shamari sits down with her mom in the backyard.
Her mom looks like an Octavia Spencer character if Octavia Spencer exclusively appeared in Lifetime TV movies.
This whole segment just feels like a background segment about Shamaris life.
Is this a time-sensitive conversation that had to happen that day?
Did the conversation relate to anything else going on in Shamaris life?
Did they need to give Shamari something to do this episode?
Shamari and Fauxtavia Spencer are just out there trying their best.
Someone else without a whole lot to do this week is Eva.
NeNe has decided to punish Eva by bringing Marlo.
This is a fun punishment for me.
Also, in her new interview look, Eva has way too many individual lashes on her bottom eyelids.
There isnt a 301 lash safe in the Atlanta area.
(I blame Aja and Naomi Smalls.)
Eva is looking for an angelic look and Marlo is looking for Eva to lose ten pounds.
GAZE UPON MARLO AND DESPAIR BECAUSE THERE WERE NO MORE FUCKS TO GIVE.
Finally, its time for Cynthia to drop Noelle off at college.
Somehow, Noelles roommate dropped out and shes got a single.
This girl is living the freshman year dream.
She did her pinning ceremony, she refused to lift a single box, and shes officially a bison.
Cynthia and Noelle head out to dinner with Leon.
Guys, Cynthia didnt know what chicken fried steak was.
She thought she was ordering steak fried chicken.
How do you steak fry something?
So when the chicken fried steak arrived and it was clearly steak, what did she think?
Ill tell you what she thought, America, she thought it was chicken.
I alsoloooooooooooveLeon and Ill say it every time hes on-screen.
Noelle is still freaking out but Cynthia and Leon are encouraging her and theyre both proud of her.
Leon tells both of them that while its sad that Noelle is growing up, its an accomplishment.
Noelle thinks theyre going to come with her to her dorm and tuck her in.
Cynthia is ready to jump in that Uber but Leon sets a healthy boundary.
