The Real Housewives of Atlanta

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Whose houses are they wife-ing?

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We get a lot of scenes of the ladies with their kids, catching up on their lives.

Lets give it a try, shall we?

First up is Porsha.

Shes enjoying some much-needed free time between rehearsals for her play and recording sessions for her podcast.

Shes roller skating with Rickey Smiley and hes quizzing her on what she wants in life.

She says shes too busy for a baby right now, but doesnt really want to slow down.

Rickey Smiley offers to go back to her apartment so she can practice dating and smashing.

When she falls, he does CPR on her ass.

I want Porsha to be happy, but Im not interested in his dude for her.

and then her staff corrects her.

Kenya stops by to see Cynthia and they giggle about Kenyas outfit.

Kenya says, without any irony or humor, Its hard being a wife.

I think she married to a child?

That stuff isnt cute or sweet.

I have EVEN MORE QUESTIONS about the PSA now.

Where is this going to be aired?

Is it going to be aired?

It will run for 100 episodes and be picked up for four HBO specials.

Kandi is at her office and Don Juan busts in because she just bought the property across the street.

Kandi is about multiple.

Im fully prepared for Kandi to add slum lord to her resume.

She sits down with Todd and Don Juan to talk about the issue with NeNe.

Todd just keeps going, ITS A JOKE.

and Don Juan is the only one with some damn sense in his head.

Then Todd says that the president says terrible stuff all the time, so its okay?

NOT NOW, TODD.

Kandi just wants the whole thing to blow over.

I thought everything was finished?!

Theyre bringing in doors!

What is happening here?

Thats her surprise for him when he gets out of prison.

She wants a destination wedding and hes ready to blend the whole family together.

The universe knows just how to shut your shit down, doesnt it?

Just when youre feeling good, the recording from the federal prison cuts off your call with your girlfriend.

NeNe is at home with Brentt and Brentt says he wants to be a comedian.Im sorry.

So far, her most notable comedy moment istelling someone to go get raped.

This whole thing is preposterous.

Also, Brentt thinks stand-up comedy is a great way to make a lot of money.

Psst, Brentt, your moms money isnt from her stand-up, okay?

Cynthia goes to visit Noelle at her internship.

Apparently, Noelle is obsessed with dentistry and has found her passion.

Im fine with this development.

The best part of this segment is Cynthia being SUPER PROUD of Noelle and acting like a mom.

Kenya is having a group of domestic-violence survivors come to the premiere of the PSA.

Is that really what a bunch of survivors want to see?

A PSA with angry male voice-over?

Still, Kenya finds a way to make the day about how she found her husband.

I cant with this bitch.

Its savage, but honest and necessary.

Just remember what youre doing, Sheree.

Its finally time for the PSA event and unfortunately, Mark wont be joinin PSYCHE!

I also didnt hear him speak for what was probably a half-hour of time at the event.

At a certain point, I wondered if he was capable of speech.

Did Kenya marry a sexy mannequin?

I wont make fun of the PSA.

Its for a good cause.

The writing could have used some work, though.