Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
The first of his two promised specials,Jerry Before Seinfeld, arrived last September.
It also documentsChappelles gifting his 2017 Emmy to his alma materand Zach Galifianakiss setup for SeinfeldsrecentBetween Two Fernsepisode.
Dave Chappelle
I always fantasized about being a Greenwich Village comedian.
My head was filled with fantasies about being like those guys.
Do you still hang out with a lot of comics?
Me and [Chris] Rock had a discussion.
Superheroes have to be around other superheroes.
If I have an idea, its the driver.
The idea says, Get in the car, and Im like, Where am I going?
The idea says, I dont know.
Dont worry about it.
Then you just get there.
Sometimes Im shotgun, sometimes Im in the fucking trunk.
The idea takes you where it wants to go.
Other times, me as my ego is like, I should do something.
Theres no idea in the car.
That formula doesnt work.
Im a real socially awkward guy.
The guy on the stage, thats the real guy.
I would even say its harder than public speaking itself.
If somethings supposed to be fun, I hate it.
Oh God, parallel parking on the right side of the road?
God youre a man, youre a real man.
This is incredible … You wanted to be on camera doing it.
Im Jerry Seinfeld, goddammit, and Im going to park on the right side of the road!
On comedians and clothes:Its such a cerebral thing.
Youd rather be a brain in a jar talking than have to attend to the physical body.
Plus you cant look too good.
If you look too good, you stop being funny.
My clothes say, Do not talk to me.
I wore a pair ofSpongeBob SquarePantspajama bottoms, clogs, and a hand-me-down hooded sweatshirt.
I gave myself my own haircuts, and thats when I looked the best!
I was bitter and sad and angry.
How did this change everything, just by me being honest and saying Im gay?
Why is this such a shock to people?
Why is it such a big deal?
Then I went on tour and I would say 90 percent of the audience was gay.
Some brave straight people went.
It was like, I am not your leader.
I love firemen … Theyre great.
They dont carry guns.
They run into danger.
The world is such a scary place right now in so many ways and you have children.
Theres North Korea, theres fires, theres storms.
It just overwhelms me with dread.
Ive never seen anyone drink so much coffee in my entire life.
It doesnt affect you?
Ill never live in his house.
Ill never drive his car.
That hour discussion is really fun.
Thats the best time of the show: Play the clip.
All right, lets talk about it.
And then its just a bunch of us arguing it.
I actually love that everythings called the Mecca.
Its crazy, man.
So when I look at my dad, I really look at him like a great sports jam.
Im like, You really did it.
You really planned out this franchise.
Dana Carvey
[After Seinfeld says Harvey Weinstein might be in the building.]
Are you going to attempt to top people on how disgusted you are?
Its a competition online: I am appalled!
Youre a little fuzzy right now, until you get the coffee.
Regis told me that.
We came up during a time where they didnt know much about us.
We never saw Sinatra get his hairpiece on.
We just came out, and were heat-seeking missiles.
We destroyed and then we left, and then there was this magic veneer.
Now authenticity has come in.
They want to know who we are.
This is the new comedy, authenticity.
Ive realized more how much people need to laugh, because life beats you up.
And you have people after the show going, I really needed that.
Neal Brennan
When my friends have kids, its over.
Its not the marriage.
The weddings not the end.
I did Seth Meyerss show and I made a tribute video to our relationship because he had a kid.
I did an RIP, an In Memoriam for our relationship, because I know its over.
If you still care, then well talk about it.
But I know theyre not going to.
Theyre just going to get to, Whats the next scalp?
I feel like, Yeah, Id give it a shot.
Ive been auto-waterboarding on a nightly basis.
The only thing I really value in the world?
New ideas are the only thing I care about.
Youve got to get it out.
Whatever it is, youve got to get it out.
Know why Im talking a lot?
I was in a coma for ten days.
My family told me I was going to be shit if I didnt get my GED.
Now look at me!
Brian Regan
My dad was always very funny.
Very dry sense of humor.
Very silly but dry.
Silly, nonsensical things with a straight face.
I know that cant always be the case … Nobody can take away the laughs.
Im not trying to c’mon some guy at a typewriter.
You know how a doctor has to hit you with the news?
That would be harder to me as the doctor than learning all the medical stuff.
To go tell some family bad news I dont think I can do that.
You know the butterflies, when you get the butterflies?
So you should never avoid the butterflies, because those are the memory-makers.
Alec Baldwin
[On people disagreeing with him.]
When Im gone, theyre going to miss me.
Isnt it a new world between men and women now?
Weve got to really, really be vigilant.
I put my arm around my wifes waist and went, Oh, Im sorry!
With every girl, I was like, Hello!
[mocks nervousness] I was paralyzed with fear.
Im lucky I grew up this way.
[On irritating Sarah, Duchess of York (a.k.a Fergie) at a dinner party.]
Hey, this omelette?
This is for you, Fergie.
This omelettes on you.
Well send the bill, care of Buckingham Palace.
Zach Galifianakis
[On colleges censoring speech] Theres nothing liberal about shutting someone up.
Talking to my dad while hes eating is like talking to a blender with the top off.
I felt quite intimidated afterThe Hangover.
Not to be complain-y, but I was like … Because I thought, I got to sit and watch people and observe it.
Thats where I got everything.
I got threatened by [the idea that] I wouldnt be able to do it anymore.
[On people always thinking hes doing a bit.]
Its become an issue.
I cant say anything.
I have to say Im being serious.
I cried at my sisters wedding giving a speech, because I was emotional about it.
There were 500 people there.
They started laughing at my crying because they thought I was doing a bit.
John Mulaney
Mulaney:My wife has a much better visual sense.
She knows how things will look together.
Thats where I fall apart.Seinfeld:She thinks she knows.Mulaney:She does know.
I was a city kid.
I just walked around Chicago.
From about the age of 9, I just walked out the door.
Then I walked home like a divorced man.
I lived my life.
Jerry Lewis
Seinfeld:If you dont get Jerry Lewis, you dont understand comedy.
I think the reason its tiring is were never satisfied.
Comedy, its caution thrown to the wind.
Ive been dissatisfied with some of the funniest shit I ever put on film.
Remember what were doing, Jerry.
I never, ever, ever allow it to go out of my mind.
This kind of freedom of laughter, and not needing to find out why.
Just go and laugh.
