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Thats not to say the hour is perfect.
Her shorter jokes have perfect structure.
Here are seven of the funniest moments fromRelatable.
What started as a goof has ballooned into an obligatory burden, the Play Free Bird!
to her everyday life:
The dancing, that was a mistake, too.
Im not a dancer.
I just danced as a joke.
Then I danced the second day, and the third day, and I was locked in.
I was the dancer.
Baryshnikov doesnt get asked to dance as much as I get asked to dance.
Whenever people see me anywhere theyre like, Dance, Ellen, dance!
Im like, Im getting a mammogram.
I cant move right now.
Thats some good marketing right there.
Are you in any pain?
No, not at all.
Im going to give you something for that.
She isnt saying that we shouldnt pay attention when the universe gives us clues.
In fact, she herself found the courage to come out via a dream about a caged bird.
I started wondering,What does this mean?For me, it was a dead battery.
We all have people we know that look into signs way, way too much.
Theyll be like, Eh, I dont know if I should be in this relationship.
Oh, theres a squirrel.
Squirrels live in trees.
I should leave him!
Everyone knows this, but its what she does with these facts that makes the bit work.
He said, Really?
I said, Yeah.
I was hoping for more of a Really?!!
But it was, Really?
I said, Why?
He said, Well, do you think youre still relatable?
I said, Yes, I do think Im still relatable.
Im a human being.
He said, Well, your life has changed so much.
I said, I know, but I still think Im relatable.
I said, Well continue this conversation another time.
So, Im sitting in the solarium eating my breakfast.
I was on my third or fourth bite of cubed pineapple that Betu was feeding me.
I said, Betu, Im not hungry.
Ive lost my appetite.
My friend has really upset me by what hes said.
He said, Then I shall draw you a bath, maam.
I said, You dont have to announce it all the time.
Just draw the bath.
So Im sitting in the tub, looking out the window at the rose garden.
Tatiana was tending to the roses.
So I had to do that bath-mat scoot all the way across the bathroom to get to the towel.
Its a big … you might imagine how big the bathroom is.
When youre as recognizable as she is, you always have to be on your best behavior.
You have no idea why someone is going slow.
Maybe theyre transporting a bowl of soup.
I dont like to judge, except for people who say, Libary.
The place with all the words?
You know what words not in there?
That was the first voice I had.
Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way.
I wish that was a joke, but its not.
People arent afraid of it any more.
People werent talking about dandruff.
Everybody was all nervous about dandruff.
Then Sofia Vergara does this Head & Shoulders commercial.
Her son has dandruff.
Hes a handsome boy.
Nobodys worried about talking about dandruff any more.
Jen Aniston has dry eye.
We know that now.
Shes your friend, shes my friend, she has dry eye, and thats okay.
Hi, Im Ellen DeGeneres and Id like to talk to you about Gay.
Do you find yourself in love with, attracted to, or just curious about the same sex?
Maybe its time you try Gay.
Youll notice a difference in as little as 48 hours.
Im not just the spokesperson, Im a Gay.
Side affects may include loss of family, loss of friends, and unemployment.
