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Die-hard Holmesheads will delight in the full hour as one cohesive offering.
But it can also be broken down into three distinct parts: crashing, climbing, and enlightenment.
We all want it to be good.
Its at that point we head into part two: climbing.
Midway through talking about his new baby, something clicks, andDirty Cleanstarts to build momentum.
Below are five of the best bits from the special.
Child Care
Before you leave the hospital, they all say the same thing.
Every single nurse theres like 20 nurses they all told us, Never shake a baby.
Over and over, another nurse, Listen up.
Dont shake a baby.
Theres posters that say, NEVER EVER SHAKE A BABY.
Val and I are like, What the fuck?
Who would shake a baby?
Were in love with this little baby.
What they dont tell you is that youre gonna want to shake that baby.
Oooh, youre gonna want to shake the shit out of that baby.
Youre gonna be tempted as fuck to shake that baby like a goddamn Etch A Sketch …
They tell you when the baby cries to rock the baby, swing the baby.
This is code for kind of shake your baby.
So the baby starts crying a little bit, you shake it a little bit, and it works.
He kept calling everything gay.
Biggest day of my life and hes up there like, Thats Janet Jacksons ranch down there.
I used to work at that deli over there.
I was like, Sir, you pilot a balloon.
You pilot a rainbow-colored balloon soaring majestic over the wine country of Santa Barbara.
Maybe cool it on the gays.
Lost in Translation
Did you know the movieThree Amigoswas released in Spanish speaking countries asTres Friends?
The N-Word
I was having lunch with a friend.
I tell you hes black for a reason, because during the lunch he kept saying the N-word.
He said it like 30 times.
He didnt say the word.
He kept saying the N-word.
I was like, Hey, thats our phrase.
The Afterlife
All my friends think its dead, over.
They think its unplug the TV and its lights out.
They say, Pete, think about it.
It makes no sense.
You think an afterlife makes sense?
You gotta think about that again because an afterlife makes no sense.
Im like, Yeah, I agree with you.
You know what else makes no sense?
Life makes no fucking sense.
So I would argue that life sets a precedent for potentially more shit that makes no sense.
Does that make sense?
