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I came here to fuck around.
Of course, Chappelle is a master of the form, so there are undoubtedly delights.
When Nas and them used to talk about the projects, I used to get jealous.
Everybody in the projects was poor, and thats fair.
Bitch, youre gonna have to change your name to Draymond Green.
I dont know a blacker name than that.
That shit is black on paper.
If you punch in Draymond Green into Airbnb, that shit will log off automatically.
Although Chappelle plays on some stereotypes here, the specifics sell it.
On getting old
I dont like looking at my dick anymore.
My dick looks distinguished.
Its old, an old-looking dick.
Its got salt-and-pepper hair all around it.My dick looks like Morgan Freeman in the 90s.Without the dots.
My dick narrates, Dave pulled me out and started jerking me around and jerking me around.
But not with the same vigor as when he was young.
He and I both knew nothing was coming out.
It wouldnt be a Chappelle special unless there were some gag personifying junk.
On having a teenage son
This motherfucker calls me up in the middle of the night.
Me and friends need you to come pick us up.
I said, Jesus Christ, its one oclock in the morning.
Nigga, I am shit-faced!
Give me the address and Ill be right there.
And its a moment that finds Dave in a purely giddy mood.
The 2016 election
Eight years later, Im pulling up to the polls again.
Nobody skips the line to vote.
And I listened to them say naive, poor white people things.
Hes fighting for me!
While dissecting the difference between voting in 2008 and voting in 2016, Chappelle talks parking lots.
More recently, he saw pickups and tractors and the aforementioned dusty white people.
Has Trump made it clear how he feels about nonwhite people?Repeatedly.
Rather than point out the obvious racial divide, however, Chappelle implicates himself in a class war.
Its both smart and impish, the sort of move that Chappelle fans have come to expect.
Holy shit, man, you aint supposed to tell us that, bro!
What are you doing, bro?
The Amish
I respect everybodys beliefs, except Amish people.
Ezekiel, are you sure that God doesnt want you to have any of this technology or this energy?
[…] Im trying to put you onto the game, Zeke.
Its a big world out here.
I just went 25 miles in 30 minutes, thats a days journey for you.
You dont even know what the weathers going to be tomorrow, do you?
You dont even know that theres a valuable Pokemon right on your shoulder.
Okay, so its easy to pick on the Amish.
Jared Kushner
You think I go to a Hollywood meeting with all them white people by myself?
Hence, Kushner is a-okay in Chappelles book.
It also feels like aChappelles Showsketch that could be sitting in a vault somewhere.
Louis C.K.
Did you know what Louis was doing?
No, bitch, I did not know.
What the fuck you think we talk about at the comedy club?
Yo, how was the weekend?
No, I didnt know.They act like we sit around like were inGrease.
[Singing]Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?
This bit isnt aboutLouis C.K.
or his accusers; its about the culture of comedy and how things may appear from the outside.
On protests during the National Anthem
I could kill every white person in America at one time.
You know how Id do it?
Just wait for the Super Bowl, and right when they sing the National Anthem, Id have O.J.
Simpson walk to the 50-yard line with them bad knees.Is that O.J.
Simpson on the field?
What the hells he doing here?
Oh, I know what hes going to do!
[Kneeling]Pow, ahhh!
So he imagines the above scenario, all the while portraying O.J.
On misogyny
I used to do shows for drug dealers that wanted to clean their money up.
One time I did a real good set, and these motherfuckers called me into the back room.
Never been that terrified in my life.
Id never in my life had something that somebody else would want.
Then I thought: Holy shit, what if I had a pussy on me all the time?
Thats what women are dealing with.
himself might have likened to a blizzard of bad dicks.)
