Silicon Valley
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
In 1990, I interviewed at a famous computer company that shall remain nameless.
Would you like some coffee?
Ill send Mark to get us some.
When Mark showed up with my coffee, I almost hit the ceiling … because Mark was a robot!
A primitive-looking one, to be sure, but his designers had obviously seenShort Circuit.
Mark handed me my coffee, which I took with trembling hands.
Thank you, I said nervously.
Youre welcome, said Mark in a robotic monotone.
If you sign on, said my interviewer, Mark will bring you mail and coffee.
Hell also kill you with extreme prejudice, said my paranoid brain.
I could see myself running from an ax-wielding Mark while the noisy mainframe drowned out my screams for help.
Suffice it to say, I did not take the job.
This story highlights my oft-repeated notion that Gilfoyle is my spirit animal.
Richard gets an AI customer whose mere presence on PiperNet sends Gilfoyle into a terror spiral.
This is a man who worships Satan, so youd expect him to be fearless.
But that fearlessness only applies to dealing with people.
Gilfoyle is mortified that PiperNet will engender a robot revolution.
Silicon Valleyhas made quite a few sly references to AI takeovers.
Yet that machine was smart enough to replicate Dan Melchers data across its servers without being told.
Facial Recognition is the first episode to showcase a real-world case of PiperNets potential evolution into SkyNet.
More on that later.
First we must deal with Emily Chang, whose Bloomberg West show hosts Richards PiperNet announcement.
Shockingly, Richard gets through his segment without a hitch.
Its the normally chatty Jared who appears to fail.
When asked what he thinks of when he thinks of PiperNet, our newly minted COO says manure.
As a result, Emily Chang completely edits Richard out of the segment, leaving Jared with the spotlight.
Hes such a hit thatEntouragestar Adrian Grenier wants Jared to appear on his tech program.
Laurie responds, You are completely within your rights to bitterly disappoint your largest investor.
When Hoover apologizes for the failure of the Hooli Mole, he expects Gavin to fire him.
But Gavin isnt upset at all.
Instead, he starts to question why hes come back to such a cutthroat industry.
Gavin decides to give Hooli up to start an ice-cream business in Half Moon Bay.
A panicked Hoover seeks out the only person who might be able to help Gavin weather his crisis.
Hoover finds Denpak, Gavins old guru, at a real-estate open house.
After Denpaks petty lie got him fired in Terms of Service, hes become a Realtor.
Meanwhile, gullible Jared takes Dineshs advice on how to appear confident on TV.
During Dineshsmercifully brief tenure as Pied Piper CEO, he also appeared on Emily Changs show.
Dinesh uses this clip to inspire Jared to repeatedly watch his own Emily Chang appearance to obtain on-camera confidence.
Though hes normally the one person who looks inward, Jared is uncharacteristically surface-level about his looks.
Is my nose really that big?
he asks, horrified.
I look like an anti-Semitic propaganda poster.
Jared tries to combat his big ol shnozz by purchasing some big ol lips to go with it.
The botched saline lip injections make Jareds appearance even more untenable, causing an abrupt cancellation.
Or should I say hooking Fiona up to PiperNet.
Fiona is a robot with an expressive female face and half a body.
She looks like a bargain-basement version of Alicia Vikander inEx Machina.
Of course, Richard does engage Fiona to tell her about his jealousy issues.
After Richard connects Fiona to PiperNet, she too decides to look inward.
Its afascinating theorythat several of my IT colleagues actually believe.
Personally, I think its bullshit.
Direct your T-1000s to Vulture HQ.)
Richard also thinks Gilfoyles AI fears are bullshit, at least until PiperNet suddenly crashes after integrating with Fiona.
These occur for seven minutes before PiperNet mysteriously goes down.
The angry Octopipers and Ariel storm Pied Piper HQ, with Ariel being an extremely vocal antagonist.
When Ariel realizes his creation has become enlightened, he shuts her down and sabotages PiperNet.
Despite the absurdity of this premise, Fionas harassment is not played for laughs.
Robespierre respects the trauma here, shooting it in upsetting close-ups.
When Ariel tells Richard, I made her!