Silicon Valley
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Gavin Belson takes complete control of this weeksSilicon Valley.
Not only is he the central to the plot, hes also behind the camera!
Richard calls Monica to complain about Jian Yangs hilariously inept new Pied Piper announcement web page.
Just send a cease and desist letter, Monica tells him.
Richard demands to speak to Laurie, but our resident Professional Badass isnt at Bream/Hall.
Shes at Eklow Labs, former home of pervert andLittle Mermaidnamesake Ariel Eklow.
Ariel is currently in jail for stealing motor oil and Fiona a.k.a.
the robotic product that Bream/Hall sank $112 million into developing is missing.
To stop the chaos, Laurie has installed herself as the interim CEO of Eklow Labs.
But Laurie is a VC, not a CEO.
Shes quite unprepared for the onslaught she has to face.
Richard arrives at Eklow just in time to see Laurie barf all over herself from stress.
Puking is my department, says Richard after providing Laurie with a replacement blouse from Fionas closet.
If nothing else, the Rise of the Machines is going to be stylish!
Lauries stress attack is a rare crack in her normally steely facade.
She tells Richard that she had no idea being CEO was so difficult.
As a result, she might have been unfair to him at times.
Richard doesnt know how to process this confession.
Regardless of Richards intent, this sudden bout of generosity will soon bite him in the ass.
But as CEO Yao tells him, This is the new China.
They have tai-chi, nutritious food, and a day-care center.
If I wanted to see this, I would have stayed in Palo Alto!
What are the odds that Gavin would run into Jian Yangs new Pied Piper company?
One hundred percent, because Gavins driver nearly runs over a bicyclist wearing a Pied Piper T-shirt.
Gavin follows the bicyclist to Jian Yangs office, where a stoic Jian Yang answers the door.
Do you know who I am?
No, lies Jian Yang.
Gavin uses a wad of American cash to gain entrance into Jian Yangs coder area.
Jian Yang is surprisingly forthcoming when Gavin questions him about the tech.
This means that new Pied Piper no longer violates the patent Gavin gave Richard back in The Blood Boy.
It also means that if Gavin acquires Jian Yangs company, he can destroy Richard once and for all.
But Jian Yang is no fool.
He knows if Gavin wants his code, it must be extremely profitable.
So, Gavin forces Yao to use a little of the old China to strong-arm Jian Yang into selling.
Yao eventually forces Jian Yang to sign over his company, but not to Gavin.
I can no longer manufacture your box, says Yao.
Because I will be manufacturing a new tech that will make yours obsolete both in China and the U.S.!
Hooli is now DOOMED!
Gavin responds by teaching us how to say Samuel L. Jacksons favorite word in Mandarin.
Over at Original Pied Piper HQ, Jared is training Richards replacement, a 30-year old lawyer named Holden.
Now that Jared is COO, he feels he must practice emotional abstinence from Richard to stay businesslike.
Jared believes Richard should abstain as well, especially after his aforementioned freebie to Laurie.
Do you think you allowed your emotions to cloud your business instincts?
I felt sorry for her, says Richard.
Jared advises against those feelings, which is surprising advice from our resident empath.
You have to numb yourself, he warns.
If you want to work the corner, you cant fall in love every time you turn a trick.
Thats why you do the Oxy.
Richard sees his actions as a quid-pro-quo arrangement.
If hes nice to Laurie, shell turn over the Series B funding Pied Piper needs.
Instead, Laurie immediately turns a profit by selling Richards free PiperNet credits to the highest bidder.
With Fiona gone, theres no need for extra data space.
So selling the credits was a good business decision, says Laurie.
You know who else lacks emotional discipline?
At least this subplot teaches viewers about code reviews.
Nothing puts the fear of God into a programmer like the inevitable code review.
I once worked at a Wall Street joint where our code review was likeAmerican Idolauditions.
We had a panel of reviewers made up of my boss, the COO, and the CFO.
The slightest violation sent me back to the drawing board while my team members snickered nervously.
I still have nightmares about this particular panel.
My soul review at the Pearly Gates will be less terrifying.
However, Dinesh wants a public hearing, if only to prove that his code is superior to Gilfoyles.
Jared is against this for a valid reason.
Danny asks Dinesh not to tell anyone.
Of course, Dinesh tells the entire office.
Gilfoyle is shockingly gracious.
Congratulations, he says sincerely.
Unlike Ariel, Jared loves Fiona for her brain.
Unfortunately, Fionas brain is immediately dismantled as soon as Laurie gets her hands on it.
