RuPauls Drag Race All Stars
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Its tough because it makes us doubt whether or not theAll Starsformat is really working.
There are many camps out there that each want different things fromDrag Race.
They all want to be entertained, but what counts as entertainment is its own issue.
But there are people out there and we respect them!
who want to watch the world burn, or who at least enjoy the elimination format ofAll Stars.
They are, as the youngs say, Messy Bitches Who Live for Drama.
In this episode RuPaul decides to entertain that latter camp, and thats Rus choice!
If she reallydidhave to leave, it feels strange that it was up to them.
Alas, they are both warden and inmate in this glittery prison game, because thatsAll Stars, baby.
The clear answer is Kennedy, who has the worst track record, but of course she disagrees.
She mutters something that amounts to, The best person shouldnt necessarily win.
The next day, RuPaul challenges the girls to audition for a new pop supergroup, the Kitty Girls.
We hope you are humiliated right now.
Yeah the fuck right.
But this whole mini-reunion pales in comparison to theAll Stars 2mirror reveal that ended in Phi Phi getting dragged.
Whos ready to not have fun?!
Its pretty quickly swept under the rug because it was largely motivated by slightly bruised egos and overreaction.
Great, moving on.
But for Morgan to act like her elimination was unfair or not predicated by her own failures is silly.
No one ever said this wasRuPauls Best Friends Race.
Milk wants an explanation from Kennedy, who is game togive her that.
This makes Milk cry gorgeous, Demi Moorein-Ghosttears as she realizes she has alienated the other girls.
Our queens separate into Remaining and Returning girls to put together their respective numbers.
Ben is decidedly not a Messy Bitch Who Lives for Drama.
In the studio, the contestants are coached on their verses by Adam Lambert and his sparkly jacket.
The eliminated queens are first, and Morgan takes to the mic as Bimbo Kitty.
Milk does well at the mic, and Aja destroys a rap that sounds damn near professional.
Adam purposely gives a couple girls a harder time than they deserve, especially Trixie.
Thats Trixie Mattel and Adam Lambert.
Her takes in the studio arent bad.
Do you hear that, show?
You cannot fool us.
She came to show how fierce she was.
Having done that with such frequency, perhaps theres not much left for her to do …
Both girl groups are excellent to watch.
Her Lil Banjee Kitty is energetic, spirited, and simultaneously feels very Girl Group Member and very Aja.
She looks amazing (we, for two,lovethe hair) and executes her hilarious character quite well.
Ben proves us right by slaying her character and committing the whole time.
The same cannot be said for Shangela, who is essentially Shangela-lite as … Sparkle Kitty.
You know, because her thing is sparkles?
Wheres the big hair?
Then, what BeBe does as Jungle Kitty is unreal.
Most of her verse is comprised of made-up words, so we live for her.
Nothing unexpected happens in the workroom.
Chi Chi isnt down to return, which is nobly self-aware.
Kennedy doesnt feel she should leave, despite being the only person who truly deserves to.
When the queens take to the stage, we have a feeling we know where this is all going.
But then BeBe absolutely slays the lip sync to Nobodys Supposed to Be Here by Deborah Cox.
Put her performance in a gay club and the children would scream until the bottles of Absolut Acai shattered.
Ben clearly doesnt know the words to parts of the song and gives nothing extra in her interpretation.
Categorically speaking, BeBe wins that lip sync.
Ru inexplicably chooses Ben, and we have to guess its because of BeBes wig removal being a disqualifier.
Forget that she has done it all season long.
Shes had enough, andproudly walks away.
All were left with is phallus-obsessed Morgan and a plot of scorched earth.
Can a drag-queen reality-competition series jump the shark?
We dont think so.
RuPaul cackles villainously and then suddenly asks whether she left her iron on in her dressing room.
This show is knowingly and purposely stupid, because its drag.
Ru, were gonna talk directly to you right now: Stop with the nonsense.
You stop it with this manufactured fakery andhokum.
We want to see the best of the best compete for the crown.
We just dont know anymore.
(Ru: Keep up the great work, bitch, this episode is gonna make people cry.
Ugh, gosh, we are Messy Bitches Who Live for Drama!)
You aint no Sasha Velour, bitch.
Keep your wig on.
… SAID THE BITCH!!!
This ones pretty self-explanatory.
Aja gets the last word on her beef with BeBe, and its a lethal one.
