Riverdale
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Are you sureyourenot the Black Hood, you monster?
Veronica, eager to nudge her parents plan along to fruition, fashions herself as Freds overachieving unofficial intern.
Having alreadyflown too close to the mafioso sunhimself, hes determined to protect his dad from doing the same.
Speaking of distantly Blossom-related children: Polly,Riverdales answer toChuck Cunningham, arrives unannounced with her twins.
Alice is exactly as thrilled to see her grandbabies as Chic is disturbingly irritated by their presence.
(Give meBlopazor give me death.)
She takes the floor: The Blossoms have been bathing in blood since Great-Grandpappy Blossom killed his brother …
I stand before you to say, no more.
), to march into the room.
Claudius ran away and joined the Merchant Marines.
Now, hell be staying with the family indefinitely in a spare room.
This is a next-level soap-opera plot twist, even byRiverdalestandards!
(Also, for the record, Toni isJoel Glicker.)
Despite the promise of Blossom riches, Chic refuses to submit to a blood test.
Thats just as well, because Chic has other plans.
Shell leave the next morning.
), but out west, to San Francisco.
(Inthe comics, Polly worked as a TV reporter there.)
Time for some more ominous crafting: Chic cuts Polly out of thefamily photonext.
And Archies leaked intel doesnt pan out, in more ways than one.
Everyone on this show is a quadruple agent, minimum.
(In Archies defense, though, the Lodge family businessisbig, scary crimes.)
But Archie, improbably, is Team Prison.
How did he go from one extreme to the other so quickly?
And who should announce her candidacy for Riverdale mayor but Hermione Lodge?
At Thistlehouse, Cheryl overhears a concerning conversation between Penelope and Uncle Fester.
Nana, then Cheryl, she tells her brother-in-law.
Our house must be put in order, he responds.
And for every surprise, shadowy brotherRiverdaleadds to its universe, another must be subtracted.
Lo and behold, the results prove he isnt who he says he is.
And why didnt somebody loop in 23andMe for aLove, Simonstyle egregious advertising opportunity?
