Riverdale
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As far back as Archie can remember, he always wanted to be a gangster.
Meanwhile, theres hardly anyone whoisntmad at Jughead right now.
Among the Serpents, Tallboy blames Juggie for starting this whole mess with his anti-Pickens story.
Unhappy over all the drama surrounding the same article, Principal Weatherbee suspends JugandBetty from the newspaper.
She gave me a tattoo and we did some stuff, but not everything, Jughead explains, chivalrously.
So, hasBettydone anything since their breakup?
Of course not, she tells her ex, conveniently omitting any mention of her Christmas kiss with Archie.
Wearing a black lace bra to match, shes clearly picked up a few camming tips from Chic.
Do I look good?
Can I undress for you?
Chic has a lot going on himself.
Betty returns home to find a young man leaving.
Chic insists that he wasnt a client, because hed never tell a client his address.
Hmm(mmmmmmmmm).
(Do they take American Excess?)
Hell need someone to help serve drinks, if Archies interested.
Of course he is.
But Veronica will have to make a decision eventually, Hiram tells her.
(Oh, yeah.
That ones a little tough to get past, Jug.)
As retribution, she wants to carvehisink off, with a dirty knife.
F.P., hearing all this for the first time, is beside himself.
Youwill be the death of us.
Not the North Side.
You, he tells his son.
The Serpents will meet to decide whether not to kick Jughead out.
Bouncers guard the door.
Lodge is a problem, Papa Poutine tells an associate.
Hes gotten sloppy and weak, so right after Veronicas confirmation, hell have to be removed.
Asiscustomary, though, the priest asks Veronica if she renounces Satan and evil.
She hesitates, until her eyes find Archies dopey, smiling, resolutely non-evil face in the pews.
He also reports seeing a new face around recently, a lowlife jot down in a Serpent jacket.
And did he mention the man was tall?
Now, do we know anyone in town with a nickname that references his height?
F.P., Jughead, and Betty march the head right into the Wyrm and confront Tallboy.
Tallboy is stripped of his jacket and exiled.
Later that night, Veronica opens her last confirmation gift, which someone dropped off in the Pembrooke lobby.
Its the head of General Khartoum Pickens.
Jughead is officially on probation from the Serpents, but is suddenly on far better terms with Betty.
Congratulations, Team Bughead!
Back at Chez Cooper, a scary bleach-blond Benedict Cumberbatch knockoff interrupts dinner, looking for Chic.
Supposed FBI Agent Adams informs Archie that Papa Poutine has been found dead in his hotel room.
Does Archie know anything about that?
But before we go, this episodes body count has a little more rising to do.
Betty returns home, hers and Jugheads V-cards seemingly happily punched (nine more and you get one free!
), to find a gory scene.
