Riverdale
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Theres nothing like anactive crime sceneto bring a family together.
), its all hands on deck to clean up the evidence.
Except for Chic, who trembles helpfully in the corner.
She drops her bowl of cereal at the sound of someone knocking on the front door.
Its Jughead, here to walk her to school.
The Lodges have interpreted the arrival of General Pickenss head on their doorstep as a declaration of war.
Drawing from her Model U.N. expertise, Veronica advises they try deescalating with the Serpents first.
He correctly guesses theyve been sending some shady donations her way, encouraging her to come clean now.
But the vic in question isnt Pseudo Cumberbatch its Papa Poutine.
Nevertheless, Betty runs to the bathroom and vomits.
Cheryl finds her sitting on the stall floor and compassionately points out the stray puke on her collar.
(2) Is this the show-business equivalent of Riverdales fondness forfauxbrand names like American Excess and Sharebnb?
(3) Is my hearing just not great?
Later, Adams tries a different tack, offering Archie cash in an envelope his never-before discussed salary?
He was a drug dealer.
Alice, whos more horrified that Betty went back to the pipe, defends him.
Hiram and his mija Friday Veronica arrive for a sit-down at the Lodge trailer, as promised.
Hiram offers to settle any back rent due for all the residents, as a gesture of goodwill.
Hmm, go Hermione and Hiram.
Sure seems like the Lodge family is genetically good at lying!
This is, of course, a threat on Adamss part.
Quick-thinking Jughead says its his.
How fast can you hot-wire a car?
Jughead, for the record, is a good boyfriend.
Whats happening between them is apparently real.
What if this was what Betty was (literally) sick about?
Betty comes home to Hal shouting at Chic about his missing watch and insisting something funny is going on.
Why does the house stink of bleach?
Why are the dining-room rug and lamp missing?
But Bettys loyalties do not lie with her father.
That seems to do the trick.
), and he smashed the bug they gave him.
Can Hiram help them out?
Lodge says Archie did the right thing.
Hell get back to him in 24 hours.
Betty and Alice turn in desperation to F.P., and he agrees to help.
(Alice and F.P.
remain my OTP.)
After digging Pseudo Cumberbatch a proper grave and dumping lye over his remains, F.P.
We take care of her own, F.P.
reminds Alice, taking her hand.
I hope to God this means well get to see moreSerpent Alice fashionsby seasons end.
(Again with the murder-adjacent bodies of water.)
But the boss isnt Hiram its Hermione.
Hermoine reveals that Supposed FBI Agent Adams was in fact Not At All An FBI Agent Adams.
Hes merely an associate she enlisted to test Archies loyalty.
And he passed the test.
Welcome to the family, Archie, she says.
