Riverdale
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Whats a town without a beloved and inconveniently genocidal founder?
They even offer to hire the Serpents as security, like this is Altamont 2018!
The towns history has been conveniently whitewashed.
Welcome to Woke-verdale, population Juggie.
This wasnt Jugheads story to tell.
Duly chastened, he apologizes to the man in person.
Whatever your reasons were, you opened an old wound, Grandpa Topaz says.
Now something has to be done to heal it.
But when Archie mentions wanting to get on Hirams good side, V suggests wrestling.
Plus, its not like hes busy with a seedy underworld empire to run, is he?
Archie may excel at football and basketball, but hes out of his element here.
In drills, he repeatedly gets his ass kicked (ass … by Kevin, who later mercifully agrees to tutor him, or whatever the sports equivalent of tutoring is.
Betty is scandalized, but what did she think he did?
I mean, the man said he worked in fantasy fulfillment.
Did Betty think he was a regional donor coordinator for the Make-A-Wish foundation?
I thought we were all on the same page, or at least somewhere in the same chapter.
Chic is furious to learn that Marcel threw out all his belongings, including his computer.
Betty quietly drops off an old RiverdaleRegisterlaptop outside Chics door.
Betty wants to better understand her inner darkness a quality it sure seems like he shares.
Then Veronica and Archie spite-make-out in front of him, and no one is more uncomfortable than me.
At the next days tryouts, Hiram selects Archie as his volunteer to wham into a humiliating headlock.
How did I completely forget about Hermione and Freds affair?
In my defense, a lot happens on this television program.
Also, Archie is completely unworthy of Veronica in every way, yada yada, the usual.
Boyfriends, they come and they go.
He makes direct eye contact with Hiram in the stands as he ultimately manages to pin Chuck.
Hal Cooper arrives to the Pickens Day celebration in a less-than-festive mood.
Hes peeked on Chics computer and is horrified that theyve let such a person into their home.
Alice, maternally, dont give a shit.
She threatens to throw her husband out again.
Penelope Blossom watches this argument with interest, clutching a ruby-red candy apple like the Evil Queen.
Later, she approaches Hal to offer him some company.
In my opinion: good!
I am open to any and all developments that expedite the endgame that is Alice/F.P.
But the Lodges have other plans: Emcee Fred Andrews welcomes Veronica and the Pussycats to the stage.
Cheryl, great-to-the-nth-degree-granddaughter of Barnabas B. Blossom, joins them.
Over a megaphone, Toni proclaims that Pickens Day is a lie.
Jughead lunges toward the stage, but Tonis grandfather holds him back.
He informs him hell demand the best from him so long as hes dating his daughter.
How would you like to start your business tutelage under my shepherding?
Lodge asks Archie, who ignores a call from Definitely Real FBI Agent Adams while hes there.
Thats not the only business tutelage going on tonight.
He webcams not just to make cash, but to escape.
Can you show me how to do that?
He opens up his laptop.Dark Betty, come on out, girl!
Its been too long!
On a final note, Veronica and Josies friendship wasnt the only casualty of Pickens Day.
The next morning, the towns statue of General Pickens is found decapitated and splattered in red paint.
The Serpents will almost certainly be blamed for this act of vandalism dramatic pause but are they really responsible?
