The Real Housewives of Orange County
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This year seems like its going to be better.
All of the women seem to have smaller houses and bigger faces.
This first episode was a bit of a catchup with what everyone has going on.
However the house isnt done and theyre moving in anyway.
That makes sense, but the house is at least a month from completion.
Wont he be pretty well healed after 30 days?
Instead the answer is to move a convalescent into a house with no kitchen?
When are you going to tell people youre living with Vicki Gunvalson?
she asks Steve in a totally inappropriate third person.
Because Vicki Gunvalson does not like to live alone.
Oh, stay pathological until the end, Victoria.
Both Kelly and Shannon have gotten divorced since the end of last season.
Shes dating up a storm but pretending like shes not doing anything at all.
She says shes not having sex though, except for the milkman.
I dont doubt that to be true.
Shannon also has a sad new house, but shes not taking it nearly as well.
Taking off her wedding ring was really a perfect analogy for the end of Shannons marriage in general.
She wasnt ready to do it until someone else forced her.
Then she got really excited about it and put her back into it.
Then it started to hurt and she couldnt bear the pain anymore and wanted to stop.
Then, finally, she got herself to do it, pulling and scraping herself.
Finally there was some nervous relief, but really just an intense longing that would never abate.
Is it awful that I laughed at the entire scene?
It is, isnt it?
I laughed really freaking hard.
Oh, there is a new lady too.
Do we know what happened with Ricky?
How come weve never really gotten the Ricky story?
I want the Ricky story.
Well, now Emily is back.
Oh,thatswhy she reached out to Tamra?
It has nothing to do with this here reality show that were currently watching her lose her children on?
It honestly has nothing to do with that?
Vicki, naturally, provided most of the laughs.
As Vicki cried out in pain, I must admit, reader, I laughed.
I laughed harder than I have laughed at almost anything except forSpyand both Ali Wong Netflix specials.
I laughed at her ridiculousness and low threshold for pain.
So the ropes course was a victory for everyone, but especially for my very worst self.
