Save this article to read it later.

Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.

You should be careful here.

Take a deep breath.

Hold on to a loved one.

What youre about to see will scar you.

Itll also make you laugh … probably.

Only his kidnappers truly know his fate, but who are these monsters, this merry band of miscreants?

Christmas trees, to be precise.

Douglas firs, probably.

The trees have severed our protagonists feet and plopped the ensuing stumps in a planters pot.

The trees own a pet cat, and sometimes it poops on the stumps.

Its just awful, and youve not yet heard the worst of it.

They just dialed up this Jim Gaffiganbitto the max.

Whether or not our hero will escape can only be known by braving a click.

Luke is executive producer atBig Breakfastand a watcher of many web videos.

Send him yours@LKellyClyne.

Tags: