Nashville
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The cult really hits the fan this week, huh?
After all, some of Dariuss aphorisms are actually … good?
But this episode reveals more of Dariuss methods and they are unsettling, to say the least.
First, as Juliette makes her way to Dariuss office, she hears a guttural, inhuman scream.
Naturally, shes concerned.
Oh, dont worry about that, Darius says with a shrug.
Its just the next phase in your training, The Witnessing.
Im sorry.The what now?
He doesnt explain any further.
Instead, he tells Juliette to reflect on the happiest moment of her childhood.
This apparently involves putting her in a trance, of sorts, although there is no actual hypnosis involved.
Darius is just that good.
So Juliette remembers being 9 years old, in a big house, watching cartoons.
An older man, whom she calls Uncle dude is definitelynother uncle is sitting, wearing a silk robe.
She says he has kind eyes.
Theres a wad of cash in a bowl on the table.
Juliettes mother is dancing in front of Uncle and asks Juliette to join her.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Present-day Juliette gets upset, wakes from her trance, and says she doesnt want to go any further.
(b) Determines that Juliette is ready for …
If you guessed b its only because youve already seen the episode.
Any sane person would answer a. Darius has Juliette lie on a bed as members of the cult solemnly surround her.
Yes, there are freaking candles.
Darius, in a soothing voice, instructs her to go back to that room.
Juliette explains that now shes the one in the bedroom with Uncle.
Oy, so many questions.
First of all, didnt Darius initially ask her to describe her best memory ever?
She was in a completely different room!
Frankly, this is beginning to feel a bit like Childhood Trauma Porn to me.
Now she has to have been sold into a child-prostitution ring too?
The ranch lady says Scarlett can observe the program, but not meddle in any way.
So, first Scarlett watches an angry teen trying to coax her horse over a small fence.
I wasnt laughing, Scarlett says.
I can see what a great job youre doing.
and banishes Scarlett to mucking the stables.
And hes not some stable hand, either.
(We havent gone full D.H. Lawrence yet.)
He seems to be a troubled young man a war vet maybe?
and hes the nephew of the Ranch Lady.
What follows is quite possibly the greatest scene in the history ofNashville.
The troubled teen is still trying to get her horse, Scout, to follow orders.
Scout is being stubborn and the troubled teen gets frustrated, sinks to the ground and begins to cry.
Give that horse all the awards!
Okay, what else?
I should probably mention that Hallie shows up and says encouraging things to Juliette and sings.
Deacon and Jessie are still going strong.
Jessie invites Deacon out to dinner because she found the one restaurant in Nashville that doesnt serve Brussels sprouts.
Totally thought she was going to say barbecue and thats on me with my East Coast assumptions and biases.
(An aside: Im totally here for Brussels sproutaissance and have no idea what Jessies problem is.)
He also calls Deacon a rageaholic, something he undoubtedly heard from his sketchy father.
Somehow, all this gets leads to Jake and Daphne getting detention.
This is, like, Noel Cowardlevel patter for 14-year-olds.
So I guess they might become a thing?
(Jessie is all of us.)
Then she mentions that she used to love NSync and everyone laughs at her.
(Do not let them boy-band shame you, Jessie!)
The guys all insist theyve never seen a boy band in concert.
Im notthatgay, Will quips.
Also, poor Avery: Hes always the boring, sensible dad guy in the middle.
What a waste of all that hotness.
Then Will releases some tension by doing this sort of reverse push-up thing using the couch and desk.
(Im sure theres an actual name for this move.
I dont exercise.)
I guess hes still on HGH?
Their diffident boy-band poses gave me intense secondhand embarrassment.
My advice when it comes to this whole boy-band phase?
Just say bye, bye, bye.
