Nashville
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First, they show Will flirting with a cute guy at the gym.
Get down with your bad self, CMT!
Will makes it clear that Gunnar is just a friend (sure, Jan) and commences introductions.
Gunnar, this is Dave, Will says.
Dan, the hot guy corrects.
I assumed that was the end of that, but toNashvilles everlasting credit, theres more.
Will and Dan actually go up to the bedroom and start to get busy.
But then, literally two seconds later, it becomes clear that Will cant … uh, perform.
Oh well, baby steps.
The reason for Wills trouble in the sack?
It has nothing to with his all-consuming feelings for Gunnar.
Instead, its because hes upset that Zach is moving back to California to pursue a senatorial bid.
(Im as baffled as you are.)
Also, because hes about to be featured in his very ownAfter School Specialabout the dangers of steroids.
Two thoughts on this:
1.
Is anyone actually interested in this story line?
And we want it now!
Okay, I just need to circle back on this whole Zach running for Senate thing.
What thehell?The polls look good, he claims.
Cause it kinda seems like youve beenliving in Nashvillefor the past year.
That is some bullshit right there.
Will has absolutely nothing to apologize for!
Anyway, their conversation is pained and sad, but at least they part on fairly good terms.
Meanwhile, Deacon and Jessie are still dithering on about whether or not they should be in a relationship.
Like, werent Deacon and Jessie the kind of friends who had coffeebeforethey began dating?
I didnt see them playing footsie under the table, so this does not pass the smell test.
Naturally, Daphne is upset, which makes Deacon upset, so he blows off Jessie.
Then she blows him off, out of spite.
So I guess were doing this again.
Later, he talks to Maddie and Daphne about things and admits he has feelings for Jessie.
He just basically says, I like Jessie, you guys cool with that?
But Daphne is still pretty upset.
Still, she wants Deacon to be happy, so she pretends to be okay.
Maybe theyre turned on by each others ambivalence?
Speaking of confusing relationships: What gives with Juliette and Avery?
Im having a hard time remembering why I ever even shipped those two.
Now, its all Juliette acting out and Avery feeling equal parts concerned and exasperated.
When was the last time we saw them being romantic together?
Hell, when was the last time we saw themlikingeach other?
(This, mind you, was right after she suggested they go out for pancakes.)
That line alone is grounds for divorce.
Juliette invites Avery to the compound in the hopes that he, too, will become a true believer.
Hes less than impressed and visibly rolls his eyes when Darius mentions his Coherent Philosophy movement.
Ive never related to Avery more in my entire life.
And the more critical he is of Dariuss cult, the more Juliette pulls away from him.
Moving right along, the show has finally gifted us with our first proper love triangle of the season.
It involves Jonahs good friend, the floppy-haired Twig (Dylan Arnold).
First of all, Twigs name is Twig, which already gives him a leg up.
This is the boy for you, Maddie!
I should probably mention that a Maddie/Twig romance is only a figment of my fevered imagination at this point.
But its gonna happen.
Meanwhile, Jonah isnt that horrible?
I mean, its hard to say.
(Seriously, I didnt get that.
Was he reading lyrics?
Recording a strangely masturbatory video of himself?
Any insight here would be greatly appreciated.)
Jonah tosses the iPod in disgust and storms off into his weirdly ornate kitchen, and Maddie follows him.
She asks why hes mad.
He hops up on the kitchen counter.
She hops up next to him.
Will you still think Im cool if I watch the rest of [Jigsaw] like this?
she says, putting her hands in front of her face.
Yes I will, he says.
Look, Ill do it, too.
And then he puts his hands in front of his face.
I wonder how long they stayed that way.
Of course, the internet is relentless as is its wont and keeps speculating about their romance.
She calls Jonah and tells him she cant do this.
The mean internet has won.
But he tells her he knows a way around the paparazzi.
The next day, he takes her on a date to Senior Citizens Bingo.
Wait, thats cute.
And he also jumps up to hug an old lady when she spells B-I-N-G-O.
But I will not be swayed by your charms, young Jonah.
