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But who is the person behind the mask?
(Her mother appreciated this bit of self-censorship.)
We talked to Narcissister about the process of making such an intimate work.
How did this film come to be?
I had made the evening-length piece for Abrons calledNarcissister Organ Playerduring the last six months of my moms life.
She died right after I presented it.
When I applied for theCreative Capitalgrant [Ed.
I wanted to record my memories and stories of her before I forgot them.
The film often dramatically juxtaposes your graphic performance work with the story of your mother and your family.
What is the connection between the two things?
What did your mom think of your work?
It was shocking for her at first.
But it was challenging for everyone.
Your mother joined you on stage in her final years, knitting while you performed.
Yes, I was pulling things out of my vagina while she knitted.
Theres something about things coming out of a vagina that squares well with motherhood.
I remember asking her, If you were a part of my work, what would you do?
and she said, I just want to sit on the stage and knit.
Would she have been upset if you had done your work unmasked?
I think I would be upset!
To do it unmasked with my mom onstage would feel so narcissistic to me.
I think it would lose its criticality, because with the mask theres some layer of distance.
Without the mask, it would feel too raw.
Its a very layered film in terms of elements used animation, various kinds of footage, etc.
He hadnt even watched them himself after our parents died and he has his own pain around their deaths.
But its the reason that the film is so good.
Was your mom reluctant to be filmed all the time?
And your dad too?
She wasnt an exhibitionist but she did have a lot of sensuality.
My dad is definitely shyer and less forthcoming.
What other films were you thinking about while making this?
Im inspired by how she documents and captures her own womanhood.
AbsolutelyHedwig and the Angry Inch.
She goes into her own pancreas; its really creative.
So, how is Narcissister doing, anyway?
Shes still performing live you could keep up on the dates and places on herwebsite.
I have a commission fromSoho Repto make an evening-length piece with the playwrightBranden Jacobs-Jenkins.
Hes writing it and everyone around Narcissister speaks except her.
Thatll happen sometime in 2019.
Has she evolved since you started doing her about a decade ago?
Yes, because of the major events of my life.
Since my mom and dad died, I think the work has more depth and poignancy now.
Shes deepened and matured.
