Murphy Brown
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I hope youre enjoying eating leftovers straight out of the refrigerator.
And you know what?
This episode came out a lot better than the $350 turkey Murphy bought for the holiday!
Alas, Murphy has a long memory: Aunt Cheryl died two years ago.
Shouldnt you be starting to lose your memory by now?
Come on, Murphy entreats; shes bought a $350 turkey.
(Julius!!!)
Everyone thinks she cant cook, but shes sure going to show them!
(Its not his real name.)
Has she preheated the oven?
She opens the oven door to find the instruction booklet still wrapped in pristine plastic.
How long will this take, Ken?
Five and a half hours?
Great, theres the doorbell!
Uh-oh, Ken says.
Your friends are here.
Hope they like pizza.
I dont smell any turkey roasting, Frank says, as everyone settles in.
(Im summarizing.)
Murphy objects: Thatdid nothappen to my turkey.
It grew up in Vermont and had its own room and free cable and then …onebad day.
Anyway, Pats brought his own food: a soyball sub, soystrami, and soysage.
Phyllis and Miguel arrive, bearing banana schnapps and all of the other alcohol shes had trouble moving.
Murphy realizes shes forgotten to invite Miguel to dinner, but would he like to join them?
No, hes working with his parents tonight.
The taco truck is idling outside.
But theres a snowstorm coming, Murphy says.
The suspense was killing me.
This is not good, who let this happen?
It reminds Frank and Miles of stinkin Nazis.
Reports from the kitchen suggest that things are not going well.
Thats it, Frank says.
Pat Patel takes an ostentatious bite of his soyquito: How sad for you.
Phyllis says restaurant people should sit down on Thanksgiving, but Maria bravely volunteers to help.
The scene in the kitchen is so grim that Maria suggests that she just sell the house.
I am so in over my head, says Murph.
Why cant I admit that there are some things in life Im just not good at?
Oh, honey, lets make the stuffing.
The women have a very sweet chat.
Plus, raising Miguel while working full-time must have been difficult.
Maria smiles: thats something they have in common.
They did their best, and you know what?
Those boys turned out to be pretty good.
Back in the living room, the boys are ogling a picture of Franks cousins turkey.
Hes so desperate that even Pats soy loin steak on a stick looks delicious.
(Pat seems to have a bottomless Mary Poppins bag of fake meat).
Hes sorry he mocked Pats vegan lifestyle, but this is too little, too late.
Damn it, Pat.
Im an animal, too, Frank cries.
Avery tells them that his moms always been stubborn.
Its in Gods hands now.
Then the Noreaster knocks the lights out.
The Lord has spoken.
Luckily, the taco truck is outside, and they can use the oven to finish the turkey!
Murphy does not know this word, but you learn something new every day.
And then … two Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers show up.
Some nosy neighbor called the five-o about the taco truck.
Its got a cracked tail light, which these busybodies used as a pretense to initiate the plate.
Now theyre here to take Maria and Carlos.
But why are they all shoved in here?
What is this, a meth lab?
They assume Pat Patel must be Carlos because he looks like hes Not From Here.
Thats correct, Pat says.
(Haaaay, Akron!)
Oh, Officer Reynolds says he read about that inGourmetmagazine!
Maria and Carlos have been hiding in the cab, but its no use.
Avery tells Pat to start filming.
Is that because Im an Old Millennial?
Would a Young Millennial immediately know to start recording?
(Lets talk about how strong the U.S.A. America brand must be for anyone to still think that.)
Were just following government orders.
Shes going to be their worst nightmare.
I know immigration attorneys, I know judges.
They are not going anywhere!
At the end of the next days broadcast, Murphy goes off-script.
She wants to tell everyone what happened to her friends.
Pats video is up on the monitors.
I did everything I could to stop it, she says.
I called in every favor, I pulled every string, but it wasnt enough.
This is supposed to be one of the things shes good at.
This is what she learned to do while other people were learning to cook.
But theres no pathway to citizenship; theres no line for Maria and Carlos to stand in.
People, Im moved.
Im moved over here!
Candice Bergen is nailing the delivery.
There has to be a way to fix this, she says miserably.
Post-Trump, Murphys preferred mode has been performative outrage.
(Oh, shit).
But watching Murphy Brown learn the difference proves the worth of the reboot.Murphy Brownhas hit its stride.
& Assorted
Phylliss Valerie Solanas routine continues to delight me.
The re-run ofReal Cops on Patrolis a good one.
(Thats not a thumb!
Why would an angry wife cut off her husbands thumb?
Wouldnt they rather be home with their families?
Are you kidding me?
If I could deport my husband, I would.
In the last scene, Pat Patels got a jaunty pink kerchief.
Also perfect: hes just as intoReal Cops on Patrolas Phyllis is.
