Murphy Brown
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The show opens on the scene in Trumps America, Rust Belt Division (i.e.
Ed Shannon didnt come to Washington todrainthe swamp, she says.
Thats why he wears three shirts and a tie, to hide his swamp scales.
Thats when Dwyers disgruntled clients join the fray, and before you know it, hes flipped the table.
Cut to commercial, Avery!
We have completely different ways of preparing for our morning shows, he says.
Thats why I need my own place.
No, Murphy moans.
She doesnt know how to work the universal remote, and whos going to record all myHoardersepisodes?
Ed Shannon wants Murphy to interview him for the show.
Itll be like Gore Vidal debating William F. Buckley.
Did someone say Ed Shannon?
Pat Patel promises they can run Shannons deleted tweets in the background.
Oh, thats right; he knows how to find them.
Im kind of known as the, uh, Tweet Raider … Like Tomb Raider, but with tweets!
She does not like the fact that Murphy needs to think about it.
JIM DIALS IN THE HOUSE!
(He concedes that perhaps hes been alone on the open seas for too long.)
When Phyllis comes over to take his order, our Jim is besotted.
Phils sister, you say?
But youre so attractive.
With a flourish, she shines a spoon on her apron and says, Coffees on me, sailor.
Youre creating a perfect example of a false equivalency, he explains.
You dont have to give equal time to someone whos claiming Tom Hanks is running a shadow government.
Applause for the audience.
Miles objects, but Jim tells Murphy, Slugger, you know your own gut.
Next day, Murphy announces her decision on-air.
She wont be interviewing the fourth horseman of the apocalypse.
Great, just great.
Uh, Murphys been sober for 30 years, buddy.
Anyway, you know how this script goes.
Fact Im surprised you could even say that word without bursting into flames.
Their animals have pouches, which is honestly the best and freshest retort shes come up with.
(IDK, Murphy,life … finds a way.)
Even if he now has to climb out of his sunroof each morning.
Someone at Phils filmed the takedown and its gone viral, and theres even a dance-mix version.
Averys proud, especially because her interview with Ed Shannon would have killed his ratings.
But before they head off for their 4 p.m. bedtime, they watch that dance mix together.
& Assorted:
When she hears about Ed Shannon, Corky exclaims, We cant have him on!
Im already carrying a lot of guilt about that!
I know something like that is probably coming, but for now I am at peace.
