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We literally spent an hour trying to get out.
When you ask Mandy Patinkin to sing “Evita” with you and he obliges.
Mandy Patinkin:No, he didnt let us out.
KG:I know, he didnt let us out.
I was making the story shorter.
MP:Oh, okay.
How long were you locked in there?MP:A long time.
Two, two and a half hours.
Whatd you do to entertain yourselves?KG:Blamed each other about whose fault it was.
If he hadnt given me so many notes, we wouldnt have gotten locked in the theater!
MP:Yeah, it was my fault.
Its a great sense of pride for me.
Dont give a shot to make it anyone elses fault!
Whats it like being back in the spot you got married?
We took our sons, who are grown men theyd never been here with us.
So we talked our way in.
The guards didnt wanna let us in.
We just spent time in that space, took photographs.
It was a powerful ceremony, an unforgettable day in my life.
Its hallowed ground to me.
And its the 40th anniversary of your first date.
And I was dying to get to know her!
So we made a date for the Sunday when it was over.
And I sat down and gave her the flowers, and I said, Im gonna marry you!
She [pointed at me and said], You!
And I snapped a picture.
We took a picture just like that today.
Ill show you[shows me photo on his phone].That was 40 years ago, today.
KG:He had a camera out before he even sat down[Laughs].
How did you know youd marry her?MP:I just knew.
I dont care what your preference is, get a partner so youre not alone.
Thatll remind you to shut up long enough to calm down and continue.
Because I didnt believe in it.
And that sort of sums up our relationship!
[Both laugh loudly.]
KG:And walking along the pier, crying.
We spent the whole afternoon crying.
First I explained to him why I didnt believe in marriage, which is a bourgeois institution.
He said, What does bourgeois mean?
He lived here seven years and didnt know how to go downtown past 14th Street.
Anyway, I didnt know myself well enough to know that I wasnt a Russian anarchist [Laughs].
I said, Oh, thats what everyone says, just wait.
MP:And we were crying about common connections.
She had lost her parents six months apart.
I had lost my father about the same time her two parents died.
And then we had a million other things.
It was a profound day.
And I said, Are you free tomorrow?
And she said, No.
I said, What about Tuesday?
She said, Im busy.
She said, I have plans.
I said, Well, when are you free?
Thursday, she said.
I said, I gotta wait till Thursday?![Laughs.
]She said yes.
[Both laugh.]
KG:No, that was the third.
Whyd you put your head on the table?
KG:He was tired!
The second date
MP:That wasnt the movie, was it?
Where you screamed at me outside of the movie?
Or screamed during the movie?
And I said, You cant do that with me in a movie!
KG:No, no.
What I remember about the second date is that you asked me if I had a savings account.
And I looked at him and I said, A savings account?!
Im an Off Broadway actress.
I have an oak table and Ive been to Morocco.
What a bourgeois question!
And he said, What does bourgeois mean?
And I went, Oh man, this is not a good idea.
We got married June 15, 1980.
Whats the most profound thing youve each learned from each other?KG:Oh gosh.
Is this an overnight?
For me, there is no way of feeling the depth of staying together for 40 years.
You share it, youve created a common history.
But theres something in getting through all that.
And I went, Excuse me, Mr. Fonda, it is.
And he turned and looked at me and said, Oh, are you related?
And thats when it really struck me.
I said, About to be.
Were kin and we made a family.
We talk a lot about being stunned about being older.
Some days its really shocking.
But even when its shocking, I see him as the person I first met.
I see that person in him now.
So I get more of him.
I get the gorgeous young guy and the gorgeous old guy.
What about you, Mandy?MP:I never experienced unconditional love until I met her.
[He tears up.]
I love this conversation.KG:I do, too.
I did not know I was political.
I was a person from a synagogue.
My parents were Mens Club and Sisterhood; I didnt know if they were Democrat or Republican.
Kathryn was very political, she was a social activist in California, and brought that into my life.
MP:Thank god there were some!
[Both laugh.]
KG:I know, honey.
This is honestly an extraordinary transition to me.
One of the worst things a couple can do is think theyll change each other, right?
It wasnt changing, but there were things we didnt know about each other.
When we were married for six months, I had an event at the house
MP:Oh!
KG:For the Film Fund of El Salvador.
And it was a thrilling discussion, there had been 25 or 30 people at the house.
And when everybody left, I turned to him, and I said, Oh!
And I look at him, and hes about the color of this sheet of paper.
And he said, Kathryn, you just raised money for a communist organization.
The FBI is going to ruin my career!
I said, The FBI?
Who gives a shit about your career?
Its not the FBIs business what you do in your home!
[Pounds table.]
This wasnt communist propaganda, it was the right sides propaganda!
It was terrifying to me.
I thought, How did I say yes to this?
KG:Were very well behaved.
Kathryn loves it, as I do, if she doesnt know when Im gonna be there.
MP:A good husband, thanks.
And they fire up the box of the pictures.
And I lost it.
And I said to people, Whoever has any criticism for this play, to hell with them.
And I had to choke so hard just to be quiet.
And it came in waves, one after another.
Kathryn, do you ever feel that way about his work?KG:Yeah.
Im overwhelmed by how he still moves me.
And its the same thing Ive seen him sing that song a million times.
And I lose it every time.
But its always specific.
And 90 percent of the time, its connected to our lives.
You guys are pretty lucky.MP and KG:We are lucky.
MP:Thats a great one!
Tell that whole story.
This is a great story.
One of my favorites.
But you gotta tell it right
KG:And trust Rachel to edit it.
MP:Shell have to edit it.
She wasnt given the whole magazine!
But its one of my favorite gotcha stories.
Somebody had given us the gift of one of these small boats.
KG:So we said,Greece, okay.
[Overlapping]
MP:Because we had a friend there.
KG:So they gave us a small boat.
MP:It wasnt a whole boat.
KG:It was 100 people.
They love traveling this way, and they said, Youll love it so much.
MP:They set up a cruise ship.
A small cruise ship.
So quite literally a Grecian story.MP:Literally a Grecian story.
Did you think about that when she said it?
KG:No, I didnt!
So there was a lot of tension.
MP:[Laughs uproariously.]
We have a terrible time.
Mandy says, Im going back to the room and Im not coming out.
I said, Fine.
I said, Yeah, thats my husband.
He said, Tell this man, this is the best day I ever have.
I sell everyone on boat, all buying a picture of this man on donkey!
MP:[Continues laughing.]
KG:I thought this was hysterical and wonderful.
That this man had made this great living.
My son and I explore, we have a great time, and we come back.
Mandy is under the covers.
I said, Honey, guess what!
I have great news!
And Mandy says [darkly], How would you like it, Kathryn?
How would that make you feel?
How would that make me feel, honey?
Thats how Id feel.
MP:[Laughing] And then whatd I say?
KG:[affects pouty voice]Fine, but I get to express my feelings.
[Both laugh for a solid 30 seconds]
MP:That was a real moment.
KG:Weve referred to that at other times.
MP:Thats a thank you Jesus moment.
