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In the new movieCam,Madeline Brewerplays three characters.
Ive been lucky that the ones I have gotten have been for characters that I connect with deeply.
Not only that, theyre just characters that I like and enjoy as human beings.
So, yeah, Im pretty stoked that I didnt get cast in a really shitty pilot.
I got cast in some really good stuff.
Theyre whole characters, fully formed, just interesting people.
Also, to a fault, Im an empathetic person.
If I see someone walking down the street and they trip, it hurts my stomach.
I cant deal with other peoples hurt or embarrassment or fear.
I just feel it for them on like a cellular level.
So I think thats a reason I find those deeper parts of the characters.
Then I break down what is similar.
What are our likes and dislikes?
What is true about me thats also true about them?
But I never assign to any character something that doesnt do them justice.
So many people ask me if Janine is feminist.
They believe everything that I believe in.
They fight for the same things for which I fight, but they dont call themselves feminists.
Theyre not comfortable with it.
Whatever, were all just fighting.
You also tend to play women who are confined by extreme circumstances and are working through pretty deep trauma.
Tricia is in prison inOrange Is the New Black.
Janine is a handmaid, and then Alice is in this crazy existential war with her digital self.
I literally put on a second skin.
I relate to her and I love her so much, my little J. Alice was difficult because she looks like me.
I dont think about what my body looks like.
And lets face it, Im an actor in Hollywood and Im 26.
I think about what my body looks like.
I think aboutOh my God!
I go to them to escape me.
I dont have to escape them.
My friend Nina Kiri, whos onThe Handmaids Taleas well, she plays Alma.
I was with her when I readCam.
I was in Toronto.
After I auditioned, I came back and told her, I think Ive got this role.
Im scared of it.
Shes like, You have to do this.
And Im like, Why?
And she said, Because youre scared.
And I wasnt like, Oh, no!
I dont want to show my boobs!
I was like, This is a hard role to play.
Theres a lot involved.
It was a lot of work, but Im not afraid of the work.
I was afraid to fuck it up, truly.
I was afraid to not do justice to the story that Danny and Isa wanted to tell.
I hate to sound so actory, but I am at the mercy of the character.
I care about them so deeply.
Im very lucky that each and every one of these characters has forced me to confront something about myself.
Janine forces me to confront my perpetual pessimism, and I learn through them.
I grow through them, and thats why I feel so blessed to play them.
But I also think thats why I am so connected to them.
Its like theyre a piece of me.
Thats how I feel about each character Ive played.
Theyve taken me to the next part of my journey as a person.
You just want to lay on the couch and binge watchAmerican Vandal.
Thats just not true.
I didnt shower today.
It makes me sick, and I think there is definitely an element of that in the Alice/Lola world.
I mean, I do it every day.I fucking hate Instagram.
Im going to delete it as soon as Im famous!
I live for it.
It does something to me, fucking pumping that dopamine.
Youre physically exposed a lot inCam, and Alice is an online sex worker.
Where is the line where Im being disrespected?
There were many times on set I was like, I hope Im not being a diva.
Oh, I hope Im not being the bitch, but this was a huge learning experience for me.
You know, when youre young youre like, Okay, well Ill do this.
I have a damn good lawyer, and he has saved my life in many different ways.
Like, This is what we will accept.
I got it in writing!
Especially on larger sets, they think they can move and manipulate young women.
You have experienced that personally?Ive definitely felt moments where its like, Youre holding up production!
Im like, Well, I havent signed anything yet.
My lawyer said I cant.
And hes all, I thought we had a deal!
That goes past being unprofessional at that point.Youre a bad person.
So this movie specifically took me to a level where I feel comfortable fighting for my body.
I feel comfortable fighting for my character.
I feel comfortable fighting for my safety.
And thats not saying people are bad.
Thats just human nature.
OnCam, I truly never once felt like that.
And maybe thats just because Im not capable of being very vampy.
I will always be a little weird.
Thats a lot to manage!Yeah, it was a free space.
Isas fucking brilliant, too.
I felt so comfortable with them on that set.
There was not one person who made me feel like,Ive got to cover up.
That person is a perv.
There was none of that.
It was very supportive, like a family, but those moments playing Lola are very difficult for me.
Why so?Because I am not an overtly sexual person.
I hyperanalyze everything like,What do I look like?
What do they think of me?
Is this how people are sexy?
Who finds this sexy?
Would I find this sexy if I saw it?
Thats whats running through your mind when youre playing this especially uninhibited version of Lola?Yeah.
I dont get people like that.
Good for them, but Im not like that.
I spent a fuckton of time on cam and took meticulous notes on these girls.
I am just so self-aware and self-conscious.
To be onscreen in that way, I would pee myself!
Thats so frightening to me to just put yourself out there, and theres such a power to that.
Im like,How do people move?
Act like a person.
I just watch other people.
I feel like aWestworldhost!
No, a testament to our editor.
I couldnt bounce right into Lola now.
Im like,I did that.
That was me, and Im just so proud of the film because its Danny and Isas first feature.
Its Kate Arizmendis first feature.
Its my first lead in a feature.
And Im really happy!
