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Matt:Okay, Bowen, heres my thing.
Butsomany elements of this film rang true for me.
I mean, Jesus Christ).
Bowen, I give you the floor to discuss this, an LGBT John Hughes movie just for us!
Bowen: Shits definitely fucked up, especially if Josh Duhamel is playing the Everydad.
He loves Radiohead and thats it.
He hasKid Aon vinyl!
He has April 4 - Radiohead scrawled on his chalkboard wall!
Im cracked that yall are relating to this person with notherethere.
Matt: Bowen, some gay high-schoolers like rock music!
Case in point: me!
I saw Ashlee Simpson in concert twice in high school!
Let us love rock!
It will be years before he realizes the power Whitney has over him.
Years before he is interesting, at all.
You pretend to like shitty masc things (sorry, gents of Radiohead).
Simon comes a long way throughout this film, and even goes on a Ferris wheel at the end.
Thats the gayest amusement park ride.
Let him find himself!
No, but did you like Jennifer Garner?
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Bowen:I did love her.
She gave theStuhlbarg monologue fromCall Me by Your Namebut like, the Kidz Bop version.
Matt:Its true.
Her best performance since she last played the Mom in a Movie, like, 15 minutes ago.
You know Simon is five years away from saying No fats, no femmes, no well-groomed black twinks.
Which brings me to Ethan.
Matt:Dont start on this he should have been the star of the movie kick, kindly.
Bowen: He should have been!
Give me a quippy dramedy where he and his mom bond over eyewear.
Were not going to cancelLove, Simonbecause Ethan wasnt thestarof it.
Give me a break.
He was in it and featured heavily!
Just because our parents get us cars doesnt mean we dont cry!
It doesnt mean we do not struggle!
We want to fuck boys too!
(Tell them Im kidding.)
Bowen:Hes kidding, everyone.
And so what if its commercially viable?
Im not gonna be gagged at Pride just because Halliburton has a float.
But I think there is much more to celebrate here than to gripe about.
I dont know where youre seeing anyone call thiscinema.
I think its pretty wonderfully basic.
Its vanilla and accessible and maybe thats exactly what it needed to be.
No ones pretending this isCall Me by Your Name.I didnt need it to be.
To be honest, I liked this more!
I felt seen by it.
They get iced coffee from a drive-thru and I get that.
I dontfuck peachesand I certainly have never been to Italy.
Speaking of,heshould have been the star.
Bowen: Ferris wheels are inherently straight, by the way.
The engineering involved is reserved for heterosexual losers only.
(Tell them Im kidding.)
Matt:Hes kidding, everyone.
Matt:Okay, fine, it iscinema, but only because you named it as such!
So, more of this, just!
Maybe we can get to a place where we even play these characters!
No shade to Nick Robinson, who is alovelystraight gay teen.
But that would be a cool opportunity!
Bowen: Not me.
I only book brooding, hardened hetero roles and I carry a lot of guilt around that.
Matt: Well, thats all for us.
If you didnt see this movie over opening weekend, thats worse than not voting.
