jersey shore family vacation
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Ninos delighted poolside appraisal of the Sammi sex doll No fucking teeth!
will haunt me longer than the scariest scene in the scariest horror movie I will ever see.
Just another night in Staten Island South!
The next morning, the women cook breakfast for Paola and Nino.
The real test will come after the babys out, she says.
(I hate to say it, but at least now we know theyve gotsomethingin common.)
Hes afraid that, post-pregnancy, itll happen again.
Over on the right side of the relationship tracks, Mikes girlfriend Lauren is on her way to Miami.
They offer to set up a romantic tableau in the backyard, the completeBachelorfinale package: Candles!
DJ Pauly D on the turntables, just like every little girl dreams of!
Over lunch, Jenni insists he write out his proposal speech.
The proposal isnt about her.
Everybody, say hi to Lauren!
She seems lovely and genuinely very well-liked by everyone in the house, so good job.
In a talking-head interview, Ronnie admits hes jealous of Mike and Laurens lovey-dovey relationship.
Hell act out about it in 5, 4, 3 … whoops, here we go!
This is a feat of blatant shit-stirring that would do Ramona Singer proud.
Jenni is livid, turning a furious shade of pink.
She got the ring, she planned everything, and this is how he thanks her?
Im about to fuck up the next 24 hours, she says.
Jenni takes this opportunity to confront Mike, who is utterly bewildered.
Its harmless fun, Mike says.
I dont want to make tomorrow happen now.
Because I feel insulted!
They hug, to a relieved round of applause from their pals.
With that conflict at least temporarily resolved, thank God, everyone heads home and up to bed.
Almost everyone, that is.
Ronnie, clearly agitated, putters around the ground floor.
Here I am, Ron says in the confessional, before his speech becomes unintelligible through the tears.
The same fucking crying-ass bitch Ronnie in the same fucking placein the same fucking house.
A night-vision camera reveals him continuing to snuffle under the covers.
Somebody needs a slice of Funfetti.
