Jersey Shore Family Vacation
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He brings a glass of wine as a peace offering and sweetly, maturely checks in with her.
Whatever helps you cope.
Pauly finds Jenni downstairs: How would you feel about going to talk to Nicole?
he asks, gently.
The next morning, finally, we get a good old-fashioned GTL day.
Mike strolls placidly on a treadmill, munching on a protein bar as he walks.
Who fucking works out while theyre on vacation and does laundry and shit?
asks Deena, who has instead chosen, relatably, to spend the afternoon lounging by the pool.
Look at this watermelon.
Ron refuses to believe Sammi hasnt talked trash about him to her good pal Deena.
Ron busts out his finest eighth-grade dance game, asking her, Do you guys like to French kiss?
Pauly grabs the mic: Shout out to Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, right now spiraling, ladies!
The next stage of spiraling is, apparently, grinding on his new friend.
From there, its straight into the hot tub.
Im not gonna fuck them, Ron promises Jenni.
Relax, Im not that dumb.
Famous last words, and also not a terrible idea for the inscription on Rons future gravestone.
Ron, meanwhile, has placed his hand on Amelies ass.
Listen, Ive been there, bitch, Nicole tells her.
Bitch, ImSnooki.Her victim proceeds to puke, still soaking wet, in a thong, behind a couch.
Mademoiselle Frotti-Frotta asks Ronnie to, ahem, take her on a tour of the house.
Ronnie is one step above playing with fire right now, Vinny says.
The sounds that ensue indicate that, at an extreme sexual benefit-of-the-doubt minimum, an aggressive make-out is happening.
Pauly knocks on the closed door, but no, thank you is the only response.
Im sure theres an innocent explanation, you guys.
Like, um, maybe this woman is the plumber theyve been waiting for?
