Jersey Shore Family Vacation
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In the confessional, Vinny and Pauly express their skepticism over the superficial trappings of matrimony.
And Ill never eat that apple, responds Pauly.
Exactly, Vinny agrees.
Vinny, Pauly, and their symbolic, long-rotten apple of wedded bliss remainJersey Shores OTP.
Though her ring was found, Nicole is nevertheless feeling homesick.
Was this a sign she should leave?
As far as I can recall, we didnt see anyone move her there.
Is anAnnabelle-style horror movie low-key brewing in the background ofJersey Shore Family Vacation?
(In that case, Sammequin definitely switched off the houses power last week.)
(Did you knowJersey Shores casting director originally predictedJenni and Mike would hook up?
I have no ego.
She was prescribed groggy-making downers, so she started taking uppers, too.
The second-most horrifying thing encountered by the roomies this week is a massive spider.
Americas Australia, where a significant percentage of the fauna is actively trying to kill you.
Deena, meaning to call the spider a male black widow, accidentally labels it a male black guido.
I look forward to the inevitable, formidable Black Guido-Sammequin alliance.
The gang goes rock climbing (our first G, minus the TL, session of the season!
Deena and Nicole face off in a race to the top of the wall, which Deena beasts.
You might want to put gloves on, Ron suggests to Nicole, helpfully.
- More importantly, what is going on with his bowels?
Im one more shitcident away from searching Zocdoc for Miami-based gastroenterologists on his behalf.
Deena dry heaves at the smell.
says Pauly, exactly five times in a row.
Ron, if anything, seems proud.
Unable to vanquish the turd dragon, she gives up.
Were going to need a bigger plunger.
In Dr. Pauly Ds medical opinion, eating dramatically low-carb has made the Keto Guido a lightweight.
Vinny confirms this hypothesis by getting blasted on Sunday Funday, a.k.a.
Sunday Vinday (On the seventh day, itll be lit).
For one thing, she refuses to sit next to him in a cab.
Vinny wasnt invited to the wedding and believes Jionni doesnt like him.
Also more than once, she says hes going to ruin her marriage.
Finally, a frustrated Vinny asks Nicole for the ground rules.
This sounds … reasonable!
Im friends with everyone, she snaps.
Im not going to disrespect my husband.
Jenni encourages her pal to take this opportunity to set some explicit boundaries with Vinny.
Nicole wont hear a word of this.
Own your shit, Nicole, Jenni shouts.
Say to him, I hooked up with you, so I cant be around you.
Youre ruining my fucking marriage!
