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Shes how old?And whose daughter?
But whats happened to Woody is so upsetting, so unjust.
[Mia] has taken advantage of the #MeToo movement and paraded Dylan as a victim.
And a whole new generation is hearing about it when they shouldnt.
People think that I was Soon-Yis father, that I raped and married my underaged, retarded daughter.
After lunch, we go up a flight of stairs to the living room.
This only serves to revictimize me, Dylan said.
Thanks to my mother, I grew up in a wonderful home.
In any event, its Mia et al.s account of events that has so far carried the day.
I fought for my survival since infancy.
She first comes into view in about 1975 as a 5-year-old runaway on the streets of Seoul.
I remember being extremely poor, Soon-Yi tells me in our first sit-down interview in her book-lined living room.
You know, no furniture, nothing.
Just a bare room and a mother, and we had a backyard, kind of with concrete.
No trees, no foliage.
I spent most of my time in the backyard, I dont know why.
And then I decided one day to run away.
That this couldnt be for life, that there must be something better out there.
I dont know how I came to that realization, but it was miraculous.
But when I press her on it later, she insists that this is how she felt.
You know, she says, I was always mature for my age.
I think from being on the streets and stuff.
And I ate a bar of soap.
The soap was the worst-tasting I could think of it now, it was just disgusting.
She bought me something, and she was trying to get information from me about where I lived.
She agrees that the nuns were kind but the house mothers less so.
If one girl wet her bed, she tells me, we all got whipped.
Shed twirled around and leaped off the stage while the other children just bowed and walked off.)
I remember the second I laid eyes on her, Soon-Yi says.
There was a big excitement and hoopla around her.
And she came to me and she threw her arms around me to give me a big hug.
Mia wasnt maternal to me from the get-go, she says with some vehemence.
Mia always valued intelligence and also looks, blond hair and blue eyes.
She tried to teach me the alphabet with those wooden blocks.
If I didnt get them right, sometimes shed throw them at me or down on the floor.
Who can learn under that pressure?
I should send you to an insane asylum!
As Soon-Yi puts it, I was shaking.
I do have a little learning disability, Soon-Yi says almost bashfully.
Ive never spoken about it, because Mia drummed it into me to be ashamed about it.
It comes out in spelling, and I had to work much harder in school.
I dictate everything!)
continued to cause strife with her mother.
Mia used to write words on my arm, which was humiliating, so Id always wear long-sleeved shirts.
Thats probably why she threw it at me), smashing it to pieces and startling both of them.
I could see from the expression on her face that she felt she had gone too far.
Because it could have really hurt me.
She unfailingly answers that she doesnt.
Its hard for someone to imagine, but I really cant come up with a pleasant memory.
And the feeling was mutual; we werent interested in meeting him.
I thought he must be the same way.
I hated him before, but I hated him double for saying this.
Her enmity wasnt lost on Allen.
Soon-Yi laughs as she recounts this.
He almost won me over with that comment because he was so spot-on.
He is the opposite of someone in touch with his innermost feelings.
She put her best foot forward.
She was in the same business as me.
What was not to like?
Anything that she shows an interest in she excels at.
Shes an amazing photographer and draws and knits well.
She was very, very creative.
Its a shame, she says, as if talking to herself.
There are things to admire about her.
When Allen recounts this chain of events, Soon-Yi grills him: And that wasnt a turnoff?
You didnt launch the other way, run for the hills?
This is why I wrote him off as a major loser, she jokes.
Hes so naive and trusting, he was probably putty in her hands.
Money was always an issue, Soon-Yi says.
We were not allowed to tell Andre when she did that, she says pointedly.
We did the grocery shopping, starting in third grade, for the entire family, Soon-Yi says.
When I went to Ethical Culture, I had to pick up my siblings …
When Woody started coming up to Connecticut, I ironed Mias sheets.
When Soon-Yi reached puberty, she was pretty much left to her own devices.
I wish she had taught me how to put on makeup, she says.
I dont know how to do any of that stuff.
Mia never taught me how to use a tampon, and my babysitter got me my first bra.
She didnt have the guidance most children have from their parents.
My mother was much more maternal to Soon-Yi than Mia.
She was the one, for example, to take Soon-Yi for college tours.
(Mia denied all her sons claims to theTimes.)
Lark also died in tragic circumstances.
Living in poverty, she was 35 when she died, in 2008, from AIDS-related pneumonia.
Soon-Yis first friendlyencounter with Allen occurred when she broke her ankle playing soccer in 11th grade.
Id never been nice to him really.
In my opinion, hes my child, Allen answers in his slightly doleful way.
I think he is, but I wouldnt bet my life on it.
Also she represented herself as a faithful person, and she certainly wasnt.
Whether she actually became pregnant in an affair she had …
In 1991, Soon-Yigraduated from Marymount.
You are a miracle and my pride and joy.
I am profoundly grateful for every minute along the way.
Congratulations, bravo, and three cheers for our Soon-Yi.
The discrepancy between Farrows chronicle of events and Soon-Yis is hard to make sense of.
Could things really have looked so good but in actuality have been so bad?
Is it possible the truth lies somewhere in between?
I wish she had been.
However, Im a very realistic person, and I know this to be correct.
The albums were something that she liked to do for her own pleasure.
She made them for all the kids.
Mia was trying to create a fairy-tale version of reality.
I wish she hadnt made the albums and spent some quality time with me.
It was sometime during that fall that her affair with Allen began.
Mia was always pounding into him what a loser I was.
We were like two magnets, very attracted to each other.
But neither imagined that what Allen called their fling would last.
Id meet someone in college, and that would be done, Soon-Yi says.
It only became a relationship really when we were thrown together because of the molestation charge.
Absent that, she believes, Allen might just have continued with Farrow for the sake of the kids.
(Posture, she says quietly to Allen whenever he begins to slump.
I married her for her posture, he quips.)
But Mia was never kind to me, never civil.
Thats why the relationship has worked: I felt valued.
Its quite flattering for me.
Hes usually a meek person, and he took a big leap.
All the same, the brazenness of what Soon-Yi and Woody did the transgressiveness is at the least disconcerting.
Was he an interloper or an in loco parentis figure?
He was Andre Previn, and Mia never married Woody, nor did they ever live together.
He was my mothers boyfriend, plain and simple.
He was like a separate entity.
I felt he was not very observant, not worth getting to know.
This is why its the biggest shock to me that we ended up together.
Or was she perhaps, as some would have it, a kind of eroticized daughter for Allen?
Allen says the notion doesnt fit for him, while Soon-Yi dismisses it as preposterous.
Would I be with him for over 20 years to get vengeance at Mia?
But neither seems big on sweeping expressions of passion.
We werent thinking,My God, lets get married, Allen says.
I was madly in love with him, she announces.
It sounds completely heartfelt and as though it just happened yesterday.
Completely attracted to him, physically and sexually.
I know hed said that Id meet someone in college, but Id already decided.
I came to realize how understanding he was and what a sweet person he was.
He grew on me.
From the first kiss I was a goner and loved him.
All hell broke loose.
I remember the phone call when she found the photos, Soon-Yi says.
I picked up the phone and Mia said, Soon-Yi.
Thats all she needed to say, in that chilling tone of voice.
I knew my life was over and that she knew, just by the way she said my name.
When she came home, she asked me about it, and I survival instinct denied it.
And then she said, I have photos.
So I knew I was trapped.
Of course, she slapped me, you know the way of things.
And then she called everyone.
They hear their mother going crazy, screaming in the middle of the night for hours.
You know that I share your pain and bewilderment and anger.
But I feel the need to talk and think further with you.
And you know, Mia is an incredibly good actress, and Im thinking,My God!
Soon-Yi says she felt she had to be careful, because I wasnt sure if Mia had poisoned him.
I was constantly nervous.
But on 81st and Central Park West I saw a pay phone.
I called Woody and said, Dont worry, Im not suicidal.
I dont regret anything, and whatever it’s crucial that you do I understand.
Those were my exact words.
Listening to her, I cant imagine myself remotely possessing such equanimity at that age.
I said, Dont be ridiculous.
[Dylan] loves Woody.
A child should have a father.
She said, I dont care.
Mia was so volatile.
I understand she would be angry dont get me wrong, she had every right to be.
But she was like a sinkhole taking everything down with her.
Soon-Yi was fired because of the constant calls and returned to New York to stay with her friend Alexis.
Until this point, Farrow had been under the impression that the pairs relationship was over.
Even then, I wasnt sure if he meant it.
We had never said those words to each other.
Mias lawyers called the confidential report incomplete and inaccurate.
You know, I thought it was a slip of paper, Soon-Yi says.
I find it a silly thing.
Theyre also both fatalists with a fatalists wariness about expecting too much from the world.
Thats what Mia must be the most shocked by, Soon-Yi says.
That is so foreign to her.
She probably cant get her mind around that.
No, she says, without elaboration.
Sex is always like Jewish guilt it has a certain dramatic impact on the audience.
But it wouldve been the same thing.
I could definitely have children, she says, but I was never interested.
I find it the height of vanity and very egocentric.
I dont need kids out there who have similar traits to me and look similar to me and Woody.
Why is ones DNA so special?
Why would one keep on breeding when there are so many kids out there who need a loving home?
I thought,Oh my God, shes dependent on me for everything!And suddenly I got scared.
Still, I was a little intimidated.
So I said to Woody, What do you think of her?
and he said, Shes just perfect.
And all my fears went out the window.
She made sure they got the best tennis lessons, piano, guitar, ballet classes, whatever.
She was always researching and asking advice.
At the same time, she insisted that they practice and do their homework.
Their life was very structured.
Allen describes how they spend their time together as parallel play, which makes Soon-Yi laugh.
Parallel play, she repeats.
Yes, I think youre right.
I also do yoga.
I read the New YorkTimesand point out pieces for Woody to read.
Woody calls me penny-wise and pound-foolish, she cheerfully announces.
She frequents sample sales, she says, and buys her flowers and fruit at Costco.)
And then we have dinner, Soon-Yi continues, usually with friends.
She fills the social calendar for six weeks in advance, interjects Woody a bit glumly.
So if you mean that way, then yes.
Allen joins in, in case Ive gotten the wrong impression: Shes got a large personality.
I provided her with material access and opportunity, but its all her.
Im more introverted and nondescript.
I ask what they fight about, and Soon-Yi answers immediately.
He feels Im too harsh, and I feel hes too lenient.
Woody extends the contrast: Thats the basic kids argument, that one is the disciplinarian.
Soon-Yi is so disciplined in life.
Obviously she had to be to survive and control life and she does it beautifully.
I want to spoil them, just as I want to spoil her.
To which Soon-Yi responds, laughing, Its okay if its directed at me.
But I think its good that they have a balance.
Its not a free-for-all with him, either.
Its past 11 when I finally get up to go.
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